When your beloved softball league gets benched for the winter, never fear—there are still plenty of ways to indulge your competitive urge. The newsiest to our ears is the Midwestern Pole-Dancing Competition. That's right. This Saturday, come out and support your favorite she-shishkabob dancers in a competition that celebrates the workout trend that refuses to ease its grip on our section of the country. It's not that we're anti—everyone should burn their calories as they see fit. It's just that, well, isn't this over yet? We thought the days of pop-up pink gyms and heels as workout shoes were the days of yore. Where is the next workout trend, and why is it taking so long to get to Chicago? Is O'Hare backed up? What's the deal? Even Tae Bo knew when to hit the showers.