We just made a monster superlative, and you know what—we really, really mean it. While we didn't actually see Jake Gyllenhaal riding the subway with our own eyes, we can only imagine the skyrocketing heart-rates of his fellow Q train passengers (excluding yellow hoodie dude who is sleeping through the best moment of his life). We weren't there and we need a Xanax, meaning the lucky duck who cellie snapped this is probably in the hospital. Stars really are just like Us! It's all the more tantalizing because we know there's no more Swift in Swiftenhaal. For you Jake, we're willing to be the rebound girl (or, uh, guy). (The Daily What.)