Our (Semi-Unfounded) Predictions For Taylor Swift's Advice Column

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taylorPerhaps you've already heard that Taylor Swift is officially signed on to do an advice column for Seventeen magazine's December/January issue? So, you know, the standard-fare offerings for the most mainstream, non-city-dwelling younger teens. Coupled with the stunted emotional maturity of a 22-year-old who never experienced college, or a work environment with any kind of hierarchy.

Still, whatever you want to say about Taylor, you can't deny the fact that her lyrics are beyond catchy — and many of us who are well beyond teenage years are guilty of belting out her wonderfully youthful ballads in our empty apartments or at any opportunity we have to be in a car on the open road. Girlfriend obviously has a lot of relationship experience to draw from, and she's not shy about sharing it (P.S., only semi-related, but did anyone else hear that Hayden's character on our new favorite show, Nashville, is based on Taylor? We're hoping not.). And while she can be a bit OTT from time to time, Taylor's lyrics are a pretty honest reflection of the ups and downs of young love.

And since above all else, we love you, we want to adequately prepare you for any relationship advice the queen of country-pop might have to offer you. So...we mined Taylor's best, most telling lyrics to foretell just what, exactly, her views on love are these days. Here's what we came up with.

Don't let your ex woo his way back into your hear. What could be clearer than "we are never, ever, ever getting back together"?

His current girlfriend's not that even that great. "She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers...You belong with me." Enough said.

Don't be intimidated by the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Because "no amount of vintage dresses can give you dignity."

Always date guys with common first names. "Dear John" is a testament to the power of (semi) anonymity.

Stay true to your heart, and don't let Shakespeare get you down."Marry me Juliet, you'll never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress. It's a love story baby just say yes!" Not exactly the ending we remember, but hey, we were never much for tragedies, anyway....