It's basically inevitable that you'll be invited to an ugly sweater party this holiday season. Flocks of debatably eager partygoers will flood the Salvation Armies, Goodwills, and vintage shops in search of horrendous knitwear to trump last year's light-up tree ensemble. It will, unavoidably, wind up at the bottom of your drawer post party to collect dust, mothballs, and fail to see the light of day for the rest of its sartorial life. That's where this roundup comes in. Why not stick it to the ugly sweater man by donning a crude, slightly — okay...very — out of left field pullover? They provide an added oomph to the whole "where did you get your sweater" secret Santa rum punch bowl fodder. Plus, they'll keep you warm and cozy even if they aren't so, erm, filled with holiday cheer. User discretion advised.