Refinery29

Why Does Lamar Still Call Khloé His "Wife" & "Soulmate"?

Courtney E. Smith — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 15:00:00 UT

Photo: MediaPunch Inc/REX USA

Lamar Odom and Khloé Kardashian may have signed their divorce papers, but he doesn't appear to be giving up on their relationship. In a new interview with In Touch, he calls her his "wife" and "soulmate.""A misunderstanding between me and my wife became public," Odom said. "It’s hurtful. That woman is my wife. Without the ring on my finger. [Even] with her picture being taken with another man, that woman is my wife."The misunderstanding he references was an alleged confrontation in front of Kardashian's SoulCycle class on August 12. It was reported that she screamed at him to leave her alone and insisted he not touch her. Odom has maintained the event was a prearranged meeting.

"She’s [my] soul mate. I can’t control it. We’ll never part. I would never consider myself serious with another woman," Odom said. "To sum it up, if a man is attempting to court Khloé, he’s probably wasting his time."

Odom goes on to say seeing photos of Kardashian with other men is "weird." Kardashian has, so far, not commented on the affair.

But Really Though, What's The Deal With K-Stew & Taylor Lautner?

Elizabeth Kiefer — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:40:00 UT

Photo: Rob Latour/REX USA.

When last we left our hero, he was wandering around England with a giant telephoto lens. But Taylor Lautner has turned up again, this time in the U.S. — without the camera, and with his arm around Kristen Stewart.

This is the first time the pair has been spotted together in a hot minute. According to People, their last twosome outing was in January, at a Sam Smith concert. So, what's Lautner doing next to Stewart at the premiere of her new film, American Ultra? Your guess is probably as good as ours.

It does bear mentioning, though, that they look pretty cute together. Just wanted to put that out there in case anyone else was thinking the same thing. You're not alone.

And so, we just want to ask, for once and for all: What's the deal with Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner? Because inquiring minds really want to know.

18 Striking Photos Of The Physical Test Only Two Women Have Ever Passed

Meredith Clark — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:30:00 UT

On Friday, Capt. Kristen Griest and 1st Lt. Shaye Haver will become the first women to graduate from the U.S. Army's physically and mentally demanding Army Ranger School. The grueling course started in April with 400 soldiers — 381 men and 19 women — and after months of little food and sleep, as well as workouts and tests in different terrains, Griest, Haver, and 94 men made the cut.

Although Griest, a military police officer, and Haver, an Apache helicopter pilot, can't apply to be Rangers yet — women are still not allowed to serve in around 25% of Army jobs — they accomplished something few people could imagine ever trying. The U.S. Armed Forces is in the process of opening up all combat jobs to female military personnel, which means it may not be long before women will find their way into elite units such as the Rangers. All branches of the military have until January 1 to ask for exceptions to the Pentagon's integration ruling. The fact that Griest and Haver made it through the program will help the case for gender equality.

What is it actually like to go through such an intense training program? These photos, originally published by Military.com, offer a glimpse of what it actually looks like to train for this unit. It's a lot of dirt, a lot of discomfort, and a lot of determination.

According to an army press release sent to R29, the three part program includes, "49 push-ups, 59 sit-ups, a 5-mile run in 40 minutes, and six chin-ups; a swim test; a land navigation test; a 12-mile foot march in three hours; several obstacle courses; four days of military mountaineering; three parachute jumps; four air assaults on helicopters; multiple rubber boat movements; and 27 days of mock combat patrols."

20 women qualified for Ranger School this time, and 19 started, but only 8 made it through the first phase.

If soldiers struggle during one part of the course, they can opt to "recycle" through it. If they pass, they can move to the next phase.

First Lt. Shaye Haver is an Apache helicopter pilot, and First Lt. Kristen Griest has served as a military police officer.

11 soldiers are still in training, including one more woman.

The same week Haver and Griest are set to graduate from Ranger School, the Navy announced it plans to open up its Navy SEAL program to women who can pass the training program.

Haver and Griest both graduated from West Point.

Think Twice Before You Buy These Beauty Products

Taylor Bryant — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:30:00 UT

Last month, we wrote a story titled "20 Surprising Beauty Buys You Can Find At Costco." Soon after, we started receiving emails from brands we featured asking to be removed from the slideshow. They went a little something like this: “Hi love! Can you take us out of this slideshow? Costco isn’t an authorized retailer of ours. Thanks so much!” Several nearly identical messages later, those 20 surprising buys had been whittled down to six, and our Hm, something’s not right radar started to go off.

Yes, these products were clearly being advertised and sold on Costco’s website (we have the screenshots to prove it), but it's not an approved retailer. This practice, known as diversion or gray-market production, siphons as much as $63 billion of U.S. industry sales a year. And for the consumer, it means they may end up buying a product with dated packaging at best, and at worst, a counterfeit.

The Legality Of It All
The gray market refers to products that are sold through unofficial or unauthorized distribution channels. This often occurs when collectors (like one of the largest in the U.S., Quality King) get their hands on products from distributors that have legitimate contracts with brands or manufacturers, and then redistribute them outside of their intended channels. The collectors often offer salons or retailers up to 10 to 15% more than what they've paid for the products.

“There is a network of ‘collectors’ across the globe who acquire products from a variety of sources [and], in turn, resell these goods to mass markets,” explains Jason Lumsden, SVP of sales at OPI.

While consumers may not notice all this — they are, most of the time, just happy to get a good deal — brands are very aware of the issue. Both Target and eBay have been called out for diversion practices. (We reached out to Target for comment and received the following statement: "At Target, we are committed to offering our guests high-quality products and to following the law. The products you are referring to are authentic and are legally purchased and sold.")

As a result of these practices, Costco is very familiar with the inside of a courtroom, having had lawsuits from Yves Saint Laurent, Calvin Klein, and Omega brought against it for diversion and selling counterfeit items. (We reached out to Costco for comment, and someone from its corporate communications office — who requested anonymity — sent us this cryptic message: “Due to the nature of our supplier relationships, we prefer not to comment on availability.”) But brands haven’t been able to make solid, successful cases against these retailers because reselling products isn’t technically illegal.

“Legally speaking, the law doesn’t recognize channels in and of [themselves],” explains Pat Parenty, president of L’Oréal’s Professional Products division. “The minute that [a product] leaves your warehouse, the minute the truck pulls away, whoever’s buying from you owns those goods.”

Stranger Danger
While this is a long-standing problem for brands, why should you, the consumer, care? Well, as Parenty points out, you don't know where these products are coming from. "[Customers] don’t know the chain of custody, so they don’t get to know how fresh the product is, where it’s been, or where it was stored," he says. "The biggest problem is, they don’t get the expertise from the salon. The stylist doesn’t get a chance to diagnose their hair and share...the right products to use."

On top of that, brands often restrict the redistributors' supply enough to lower their inventory, which often causes them to turn to counterfeiting.

"Counterfeits are dangerous because the people who are making the products are taking shortcuts in how they're made," says Candice Li, VP for global public affairs and membership of the International AntiCounterfeiting Coalition, a D.C.-based nonprofit organization. "They might be adding harmful things, it might be made in very unsanitary conditions, [or] child labor may be involved in the making of some of these products.”

Plus, the product you’re buying could be expired — or be a completely different product altogether (like a body lotion in a shampoo bottle). “At the end of the day, all counterfeiters really care about is your money,” says Li. “They don’t care if they give consumers a bad product — or no product whatsoever.”

Essentially, counterfeited products are on a whole other level of stranger danger. Many of them are manufactured in China, according to Li. With counterfeits, companies have a little more pull in terms of taking action against distributors. The law protects the consumer, and retailers are required to remove the product immediately, or they become liable for any issues that may occur. In a case just last month, one woman was sentenced to 18 months in prison and has to pay MAC almost $1 million after being busted for selling counterfeit products out of her home.

Brands Taking Precautions
To ensure their products end up where they're intended to be, some big brands like L’Oréal draw up contracts with distributors. “You can control your brand's channel distribution by having all of the people you’re dealing with sign a contract agreeing [where] the product is intended to be sold,” Parenty says. “They’re never violating a law when they decide to sell outside of the channel; they’re only violating the contract...but because there’s a contract, that allows us to terminate that relationship.”

Another tactic brands use is coding their products, so that they can keep track of which distributors they go to. “If we were to walk into [a store] and go to the hair-care aisle…if there was a bottle of Redken shampoo, we can pick up that bottle, take it, buy it, and send it back to our diversion control in Ohio,” Parenty says. “They decode it, and we know exactly what distributor and what salon bought it, and we have a policy to either terminate or restrict the sales to those salons... It’s like whack-a-mole; we find them, we cut them off.” This happens every single day, he adds. Last time he checked, L’Oréal has terminated business with about 8,000 salons and 40 major distributors over the past 18 years.

For smaller companies — like all-natural skin-care brand Suki — the policing process is harder. Founder Suki Kramer tells us that her company mostly relies on customers and word of mouth in order to tackle the issue. It has even bought its own products from third-party distributors in order to take them off the market. Kramer would rather pay out of her own pocket than risk the brand's reputation. “Unfortunately, it’s our problem because we want to do right by our customer and give them a good product," she says. "We try to police ourselves, but it’s really hard to do. We’re a small company; we can’t keep up with all of it."

Shop Smart
Since we're not talking about products you're showing off or toting around — but rather lipsticks, shampoos, and cleansers that you're applying to your face, hair, and body — you should be especially wary as to where they’re coming from. Before you purchase anything, Li advises keeping in mind the three Ps: price, packaging, and point of sale.

Price: Li notes that while counterfeiters are starting to become savvier — pricing items closer to the cost of the original product so they don’t draw too many red flags — if the deal seems too good to be true, it probably is. If you know that MAC doesn’t typically participate in promotions or discounts, and a MAC foundation that normally retails for $50 is suddenly going for $20, it’s probably best to steer clear.

Packaging: Make sure to double-check the bottle, jar, or tube with the real deal to be on the safe side. “There are still some counterfeit products that have misspellings on the packaging, or the color is kind of off, or the logo looks kind of skewed,” Li says.

Point of Sale: Thinking of buying a product from a stand in the mall or from someone with a blanket on the street? Probably best to keep it moving, regardless of the discounted price the vendor might have lured you in with.

And, with more and more people shopping online, the internet has pretty much become a "plagiarism" playground. "The internet is a great tool for counterfeiting because [the counterfeiters] don’t need to be in the U.S., they don’t need to be on that street trying to sell you that blush or that perfume; they can just be online, and you can’t see who they are or where they are. And so, they’re able to put up really professional websites that look like, 'Hey, I can trust this website,'" says Li. "And you might think you’re getting a good deal, but what you’re getting in the mail is [probably] nothing — so now they have your money and your bank account information."

At the end of the day, your best bet is to go directly to the brand to purchase your product of choice, or to check its website and see who its authorized retailers are. Everyone loves a good bargain — but if it’s at the cost of our conscience or puts our health at risk, is it really worth it?

This Crazy Food Trivia Will Totally Blow Your Mind

Bee Wilson — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:20:00 UT

Look around your kitchen. Big or small, it's probably full of gadgets and tools. We use these things daily, but we never think that hard about where they came from in the first place. Look closer, though: There are hidden stories in your kitchen.

Sure, you can roast a chicken without much thought in an electric-powered oven. But not too long ago, your ancestors may have used the help of a certain four-legged animal instead. And while the Victorians figured out how to make ice cream faster than we can today, they didn't realize that what they were eating could kill them. Read on to discover some crazy food trivia that will totally blow your mind.

Man's Best Friend Used To Help Cook Dinner

If you think cooking is hard work now, imagine what it was like in the days of open-hearth roasting. The job of turning meat in front of the fire as it roasted was so unpleasant that special short-legged dogs — called "turnspits" — were bred to do it. In Tudor times, these poor dogs were forced to trundle around on a wheel attached to a spit. There are signs that these pups were too intelligent for the job; people said they used to run away and hide when they saw meat being prepared.

You Can Blame Utensils For Your Braces

Cutlery has left its mark on our teeth as well as our food. It looks as if, astonishingly enough, the alignment of human teeth in an "overbite" goes back to the adoption of the table knife and fork, around 250 years ago. Our ancestors used to clamp hard food in their mouths, preventing the incisors from developing into an overbite. When we started cutting food into small morsels, our jaws changed. In China, however, the overbite emerged 800 to 1000 years sooner. The reason? Chopsticks.

Canned Food: Talk About The Cart Before The Horse!

Kitchen inventions don't always come exactly when you need them. In 1810, a Frenchman called Nicholas Appert announced his great new invention: canned food. Yep, Appert brought canned apricots, peas, chestnuts, and asparagus into the world. But it would be another 45 years before anyone thought to invent a can opener. In her book Pickled, Potted, and Canned, Sue Shephard explains that until the 1860s, canned food would come with instructions to "cut round the top near the outer edge with a chisel and hammer."

There Are 692 Ways To Beat An Egg

In the late 19th century, cooks in the United States went eggbeater-crazy. No fewer than 692 separate patents for eggbeaters were granted between 1856 and 1920, including the famous Dover whisk. But not one of these designs was an improvement on the French balloon whisk, which has been around since the 16th century and shows no sign of going out of fashion.

How Our Favorite Comfort Food Changed Eating Forever

We take forks for granted now, but when they were first introduced in Britain during the Renaissance, they were seen as a strange joke. Why would you want to put metal prongs in your mouth along with food, instead of just using your fingers? Diners thought forks were ridiculous and unnecessary. Even Queen Elizabeth I, who owned forks, preferred to use her fingers. For centuries, the only people in Europe who ate with forks were Italians. Why? Because forks have always been the perfect tool for eating long, slippery strands of pasta.

The Surprising Unit Of Measurement You Can Eat

Cooks the world over — from Italy to Afghanistan — have used the size of a walnut as a handy unit of measurement. The walnut has been used to measure carrots, sugar, parmesan fritters, and above all, butter. Why the walnut? The great thing about the Persian walnut, apart from its rich oily taste, is its consistent size — around 2.5 to 3.5 cm in diameter. A walnut of butter is somewhat more than a smidgen and less than a dollop.

Homemade Ice Cream In Five Minutes? Watch Out

Homemade ice cream in five minutes flat? It sounds impossible. But in 1885, a brilliant Victorian inventor named Agnes Marshall marketed a hand-cranked ice cream maker that did just that, using only ice and salt. Marshall’s gizmo really works; I’ve used one. You rotate a horizontal handle, and the wide, circular bucket freezes the mixture almost instantly. It's way faster than any electric model on the market today. The only flaw is you can’t eat the finished ice cream. Marshall made her machine out of zinc, because it was cheap — not realizing it would make the finished product toxic to eat.

Worried About Being Poisoned? These Chopsticks Are For You

More expensive does not always mean better when it comes to cutlery. One Chinese emperor used silver chopsticks for a while, not just because they were so luxurious, but to keep him safe from poisoning. The idea was that the silver would corrode and turn black if it came into contact with arsenic. But, silver chopsticks turned out to be heavy, bad at picking up food (too slippery), and could turn burning-hot. So in the end, they were abandoned in favor of porcelain chopsticks.

12 Instas That Remind Us Why We Love Festival Season

Sabrina Rojas Weiss — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:15:00 UT

It's August, people. If you haven't yet had your fill of outdoor concerts, it's time to get on that! Already this season, thousands of music fans have donned their best and quirkiest, painted their bodies, crowned their heads with flowers, and waded into the masses to dance and sway with kindred spirits. They've jumped in the mud and trudged through the dirt to get from stage to stage, wandered into sets of their new favorite band they'd never heard of until just then, and raced to hear that DJ someone told them about before trekking out for the headliner they've loved since high school. In the wee hours, they stumbled into their tents or luxury hotels or friend's couches, their ears ringing, their limbs aching, to catch just a tiny bit of sleep before doing it all again the next day. Here we've gathered a few gorgeous shots from fans and performers at Lollapalooza, HARD Summer, Outside Lands, Bonnaroo and other fests, to look back at the crazy fun that was had there. They will definitely inspire you to get out to the next big fest coming your way.

Lasers are everything, especially in black and white. You can see the heart-thumping magic that was Alesso's set at Lollapalooza here.

Tired of being the short girl who can never get a good view of the stage? Turn yourself into a tree! Or, well, just imagine that's how this Grant Park shrubbery got its eyes for Lollapalooza.

— SPONSORED —

As if the name wasn't proof enough, this blazing shot YouTube star Stephanie Villa snapped for @secretdeodorant proves that for 48 epic hours, Hard Fest wasn't afraid to go big or go home.

Epic Fireworks On The First Night Of Hard Fest, August 1

Correct use of the word literally: "Quite literally getting lit with @thechainsmokers. Burned my armband getting these shots," wrote photographer Shea Flynn of this fiery pic from backstage at Lollapalooza.

Sometimes festivals leave their mark on you. Sometimes you have to leave your mark on them. These flower-powered girls expressed themselves at Lolla.

Even at a giant festival like Lolla, there are moments when you can almost reach out and touch your fave musicians. Here's Twenty One Pilots' Tyler Joseph reaching out to the fans. Be careful up there

Now here's flower power, S.F. style. A fashionista makes her blooming artistic statement at Outside Lands.

This Instagram page is devoted to "Festival Jerrys," defined as "An individual that demonstrates a true lack of understanding on how to present themselves at festivals, shows, concerts or events." But as this pic was taken at Outside Lands, we would like to argue that there is no such thing.

You go to Bonnaroo for the music, of course. But those brief moments of peace in the early hours on the campground are pretty freaking great, too.

Maybe they're in line to get in. Maybe they're just in line for the high fives. Life is like that at Bonnaroo.

We might need to get just a little bit closer to the stage, guys ... (At Sziget 2015, in Budapest.)

Yeah, it must be nice to get all that love from the crowd (at Hard Summer). Even security got in on this one.

How One Plus-Size Model Stood Up To Years Of Family Bullying

Connie Wang — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:00:00 UT

According to a study Refinery29 conducted earlier this summer, 70% of women were already self-conscious about their bodies by the age of 13. And the number-one perpetrators of these feelings of insecurity and shame were the people who are supposed to actually have your best interests at heart: moms.

Lauren Karaman (@laurenkaraman) is a woman whose physical beauty is something she's made a career out of. She's a plus-size model, and a good one at that. But even though she's received props from the fashion industry, it wasn't enough to erase years of bad juju. After one particularly toxic interaction with her family, Karaman emailed her good friend, filmmaker Brett Haley, about her frustrations, and together they created a video series for Refinery29 that touches on the challenges, realities, and feelings (both moments of elation and discouragement) of plus-size models. We spoke to Karaman about her impetus in filming this series, and how she was able to have a very hard conversation about hurtful words and unconstructive criticism with the people closest to her.What’s the controversy around the word “plus”? Why is it empowering for some and degrading for others?
“Not to be punny, but the word ‘plus’ carries a lot of weight. With ‘plus’ comes years of fat shaming, judgmental looks, backhanded compliments, and twisted body image. Being ‘plus,’ by societal standards, is the least desirable options. ‘Plus’ is often wrongly associated with the phrase “[they] let themselves go.” Screw that healthy looks different on different bodies — that doesn't matter. What matters is that you do absolutely anything you can to not be ‘plus.’ When we are told from all directions — usually beginning in childhood — that skinny is the true sexy, skinny is the true confident, and skinny is the true successful, it’s easy to believe that ‘plus’ is the ugly stepsister to ‘skinny.’

“From my experience, with ‘plus’ in front of my name, it’s easy to feel ‘less than’: less sexy, less confident, less beautiful, less worth it. Because ‘plus’ carries so much negativity in the media, it becomes harder to take back the term as an empowering word. Many people have said to me — and I’ve thought this, too — ‘Why can’t you just be a model? Why do you have to be plus? Well, honestly, I’m not sure if our society is ready to drop the ‘plus.’ I think before that could truthfully happen, we have to embrace the ‘plus,’ and redefine it as a bold, positive, and even desirable term. Why can’t we be proponents of health and accept that sometimes that looks different on different people. Healthy does not always equal size 0 to 4.

“I’m not saying everyone should be plus-sized, I’m simply saying that every body — no mater the size or shape — deserves to be loved and taken care of. It feels unfair that my body has faced so much judgment from others — and myself. It feels unfair that I have been shit on for being heavy because my body will never healthily or naturally be a size 2. When I personally began embracing the ‘plus,’ and embracing my body as is, was when I actually started living. This is me. This is all of me. Why shouldn't I be happy and live the life I’ve always wanted?”

What’s the last-straw moment that led to the creation of this video series?
“This is a section of what I wrote to Brett the week before the series was born:

Even though I’ve signed a 3 year contract with MSA Curve, considered among NY’s top modeling agencies my parents still think I’m too fat.

Two weeks ago, I went home to see my parents for the first time in six months. It took ten minutes for the interrogation to begin. “You look bigger, how much weight have you gained since you've been in NY?” “Are you depressed?” “Have you been lying about being happy there?”

They’ve been obsessed with my fluctuating weight as long as I can remember. I’ve heard it my whole life — at all my sizes. But this time, I could’t take it. Despite my strong will and self-pride I started crying — “Mom! Would you stop? I signed with a MODELING agency. Isn’t that good enough?” She replied: “Just because you’re with that plus-size agency doesn’t mean you can go and gain as much weight as you want.” I was speechless. I know in a twisted way it’s coming from a place of love. They want the best for me. They want things to be easier for me. And I know the way the world works now. In the entertainment industry skinny is “better.” In acting school, I was [discreetly] handed The South Beach Diet book by a director on the second day of rehearsal. But what if the standard for beauty and success was different? What if sizes 0-4 didn’t equal happy? What if my family had told me I was beautiful during the times my weight fluctuated as a teenager?

When I share successes in my modeling career with my parents and grandparents, though I do feel their genuine joy and I know they are bragging about me when I am not around (their friends tell me they do), I still feel like I see an inner struggle in them: “Should we encourage her to stay fat?” Maybe I’m projecting that because I’ve thought that about myself. My whole life, the three most comforting words to me were “When I’m Skinny.” “When I’m Skinny, guys will hit on me,” “When I’m Skinny, I’ll finally have a boyfriend,” “When I’m Skinny, I’ll finally get the acting jobs I’ve always wanted,” “When I’m Skinny, I’ll dress the way I want,” “When I’m Skinny, I’ll be happy.” I’ve even had the completely bogus thought that “When I’m Skinny, I’ll finally put a folk band together.” WHATTT??? WHAT DOES BEING SKINNY HAVE TO DO WITH THAT?? I used to put my life on hold for the moment I was finally “skinny.” A moment that, despite how much weight I lost, would never actually come. It’s funny. I used to think I’ve wasted too many years of my life being fat. Now I realize I waisted too many years of my life believing that lie.

“Reflecting on this email, I wish I knew the answer to the way I was supposed to feel about myself. I’m told so many contradicting things about the way my body ‘should be.’ As proud and confident as I am, I still feel like the world may be right. Maybe I would be happier if I was skinnier. It makes me think, ‘Maybe I should just give in and change.’ But what if that’s wrong? What if I stood up for myself? What if I loved the body I have? What if I actually believed I was sexy? I want to explore these confusing ups and downs in a funny, honest, yet brutally open-wound kind of way. I’m searching for the answer just like so many other men and women are. How can I be happy? How can I honestly love myself exactly as I am?What’s the best way to start an open conversation with your loved ones who’ve hurt you because of your weight/appearance?
“For me, the conversation finally came because I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t grit my teeth and nod my head anymore. In the past, I wasn't ready to express the way their comments had affected my self-worth because deep down I believed them. But I’ve grown. And with that growth I am now more confident in what I believe to be true. It was a combination of built-up frustration and bravery that allowed me to finally say Stop. This obsession you have with my weight has to stop. I told my mom, “Every time you bring up my weight, you make me feel like I’m not good enough. No matter what else I do in my life, there will always be this one thing that makes me less than. I can’t be confident in the way I look because you guys are always telling me I need to change.’ I remember asking, ‘Even if you don’t agree with me now, or ever, can you please try to stop telling me I need to change?’

“The conversation wasn’t easy. Nor did it end tied up in a pretty bow. But what it did was allow for healing to begin. I mean, my life is a testament for what I hoped this video series would inspire. My family and I have never been more honest with each other. We’re owning up to the ways we’ve hurt each other and the ways we’ve projected things onto each other. I don’t feel like I’m hiding anything from them anymore. I can breathe easier. We’re even able to have a sense of humor about it now. It’s pretty remarkable. I’ve never felt more like myself with them.

“My mom recently said to me, ‘I’m sorry that our journey brought us through this. But I understand it. It’s a cycle. My mother told me the same things when I was growing up. I grew up believing I’ll be happy when I’m skinny, and I’m sorry that I put that on you. What breaks my heart is that I allowed you to think that way. Because I thought you knew I loved you more than anything in life and that I was always there to support you. Knowing that I made you feel that way makes me feel like a failure.’

“It’s my hope that through brave, open conversations that we begin to break this cycle in our relationships.

“I guess my advice for others would be to go into the conversation with an open mind. Stand up for yourself, but remember that the myth ‘skinny equals happy’ was engrained in them the same way it was in you. If the pressure they placed on you truly came from a place of love, then, hopefully, they will be willing to own up to the ways they were wrong, and release their unrealistic and unnecessary ideals. My parents honestly had no idea how profoundly their words affected my body image. Years of pain and misunderstanding began to heal after one honest conversation.

“I want to stress — my parents are not bad people. They are two of the most loving, supportive, selfless people in this world. They have supported and championed everything I’ve done, and would bend over backwards for me without a second glance. But they’re human, too. They were subject to this myth and cycle, just as I was. Let’s stop the chain of deprecating thoughts and language.

“Sometimes it’s just a simple change in vocabulary. For example, I’ve heard sentences like: ‘Poor ______, if only she could get the weight off,’ or “Poor ________, she’s so motivated at work, why can’t she get to the gym?’ I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve heard the word ‘poor’ in front of the names of plus women I know. Beautiful, smart, successful women. Nothing about their lives warrant them the title ‘Poor.’ It makes me think, does that make me ‘Poor-Lauren’? Taking this phrase out of our vocabulary could make a world of difference.

What’s the most striking, unexpected example you can think of that highlights the difference in your quality of life from a time when you were unhappy with your body and a time when you were/are?
“I distinctly remember, at 14, crying in my bedroom and coming to the conclusion that when I [do become] skinny, I would finally be happy. I was extremely depressed as a teenager. I was too proud to go to a doctor to be diagnosed because I knew I had the answer for what would fix me: ‘When I’m skinny, this will all be over. When I’m skinny, I’ll be happy.’

“Reality check? I was nowhere near fat then. Yet being skinnier was somehow my sick answer.

“I look back at pictures when I was 16 years old and a size 8. I was depressed, on a starvation diet, hated my body, was told by my mother I was heavy because I was no longer a size 6, and I believed it. I hated everything about my body because I thought I was ‘chubby.’ I was six sizes smaller than I am now.

“For years, I felt like I was in a never-ending race to somehow make up for the time I was wasting being ‘fat.’ I was the queen of yo-yo diets. I would starve myself until I couldn’t take it any longer. Then I would binge. I could never find a happy medium, because food equals weight. Back then, eating healthy wasn’t about being healthy, it was about losing weight — weight I didn’t even need to lose to be healthy!

“It’s taken years of exploring and dismantling the myths I believed. I’m honestly still in the process of doing so. But I have come to a place now in my life where I have never felt more confident in the way I look and feel. I don’t starve myself anymore, nor participate in yo-yo diets. I buy clothes I would never have had the bravery to wear before. I now work out with a personal trainer — not to lose weight but to be healthy. I eat without feeling guilty about it. I can finally stand tall and walk into a room — unapologetic of who I am, all of me.

What do you think about the current state of the modeling industry? Where do you think we can grow in the future?
“Thank God for the growing plus industry! More and more plus models are being hired, and more and more stores are creating plus departments. I personally would like to see a day when plus models and straight models are equally represented in media — but, so far, we’ve come a long way! Girls who are a size 8 and up are slowly but surely being encouraged in the media to be proud of who they are. That happy doesn’t mean the standard of ‘skinny’ we’ve been programed to need. Maybe this industry can begin to change the way people speak to each other, amongst their peers, and within their families.

“That’s why I love being a plus-size model. That’s why I want to be a part of this movement. That’s why it needs to stay. That’s why it has to become more than a new fad. It’s a need.”

Suprise! Joseph Gordon-Levitt Is A Dad

Erin Donnelly — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:30:00 UT

Photo: Jim Smeal/BEImages.

Announcing the birth of your child when nobody even knew you and your partner were expecting? That's some Beyoncé shit right there.

A rep for Joseph Gordon-Levitt and his wife, Tasha McCauley, has confirmed (to Us Weekly) the birth of the couple's first child. The pair, who wed in December, are parents to a bouncing baby boy. JGL Jr. was born last weekend, but his name has not yet been revealed.
"Everyone’s happy and healthy," a source told the magazine.

Of course, we can't help but hope that Gordon-Levitt's son and Zooey Deschanel's newborn baby girl will wind up as playmates — and, possibly, become indie baby sweethearts. It's got to happen, right?

Congrats all around. We expect the proud pops is feeling very much like this right now.

Video: Courtesy Fox Searchlight Pictures.

Here's The Easiest Way To Catch A Psychopath

Sarah Jacoby — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:30:00 UT

Illustrated by Anna Sudit.

Psychopaths, by definition, have a hard time understanding why the rest of us have so many pesky feelings. And it appears this lack of empathy extends to one of the most natural (and least resistible) of states: yawning.

In a new pilot study, published online in the journal Individual and Personality Differences, researchers had 135 undergraduates complete a questionnaire that assessed participants' levels of psychopathic traits. Then, participants watched three videos in a random order — one was of a person laughing, one had someone with a neutral face, and one showed a person yawning. The researchers closely monitored participants' faces, including looking for minute facial muscle activity.

Related: What To Say In Life's Most Difficult Situations

Results showed that participants who scored higher on the psychopathy-related trait of coldheartedness (which describes emotional detachment combined with an overall disagreeable disposition ) were less likely to fall prey to the contagious yawning stimuli. Interestingly, none of the other psychopathic traits showed this correlation.

Related: 10 Women On The Best Thing Their Ex Taught Them

People who rate highly on psychopathic traits tend to be generally uncaring, selfish, and insincere. So, while being low on empathy is part of psychopathy, it's not the whole picture. Psychopaths are also way more likely to be men than women, although there weren't any statistically significant gender differences in this study.

Related: THIS Is The Best Age To Get Married (According To Science)

If you're wondering whether or not your new friends are really as coldhearted as you think, this study suggests you might want to give 'em a good yawn and see what happens. Or, if that doesn't work, just count the selfies on their Instagrams.

The Secret To Making Your Small Space Seem HUGE

Chloe Daley — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:20:00 UT

A millennial walks into a hardware store...

When it comes to the science of picking a paint color, or even a non-color, for your walls, there are too many options and too little information out there. It's easy to be indecisive — or worse, to make the totally wrong decision. Fortunately, there's a method to the madness, or, in this case, a science behind smart selecting.

Getting the right sheen depends on a multitude of factors, including the surface being painted, the lighting, the direction your room faces, and the size of the space. The experts at Benjamin Moore and Sherwin Williams helped us decode the slippery business of selecting paint — so you can make your cramped living quarters appear larger. Now that's something we'll brave the hardware store for.

Testing Is Mandatory
"The easiest way to [sample a color at home] is to simply tape the color chip up on a wall that sees both natural and artificial light," says Susan Wadden, color marketing and design manager at Sherwin-Williams.

Wadden advises watching the color over the course of a few days, taking into account fluctuations in natural light. Early morning light makes colors appear luminous and glowing, mid-day light can make colors look washed out, and late-day light is warm as the sun hits the horizon.

(Not Just) One Direction
What direction do the windows face? "A northern exposure is cooler, so a warmer color choice might be appropriate to compensate for the lack of sunlight," says Wadden.

Southern exposures, on the other hand, get the most light all day long; neutral tones may be better in that case.

Be Aware Of Artificial
Your lamps and bulbs will often dictate the true color representation. Wadden breaks it down as such: Incandescents provide warmer light that enhances reds, yellows, and oranges. Fluorescents provide cooler light that enhances blues and greens. LEDs are more flexible; their light looks good with most paint colors. CFLs can offer varying types of light, so check the Kelvin rating. The lower the number, the warmer the bulb. Meanwhile, full-spectrum bulbs mimic daylight. Halogen bulbs also closely resemble daylight — and make colors pop.

Flat Finish Is A Must
"A flat finish [on a ceiling] hides irregularities, surface imperfections, and lap marks, whereas a glossy finish would not," says Jennie Gerardot, associate product manager for HGTV Home by Sherwin-Williams. Chances are, most of us aren't working with brand new ceilings, so it's best to stay away from gloss, which will highlight all of the cracks and irregularities.

A No-Fail Choice Is Eggshell
"If you're looking for something subtle and forgiving on an imperfect wall, a matte or eggshell finish is the way to go," says Andrea Mango, color and design expert at Benjamin Moore. "The look of a glossy finish will be more bold and dramatic in a room, due to the reflectance of light, so this finish is often seen in spaces where there is a strong color or design statement to be made."

Primer Is Your Best Friend
"A primer should be used most frequently for unique surfaces or special circumstances," says Wadden. "Water stains, smoke damage, dark colors, bare drywall, and smooth, glossy surfaces that are tough to adhere to."

"The point of primer is to seal the substrate — walls, wood trim, etc. — for optimal performance of the topcoat," notes Wadden. A renter will most likely need primer when painting over a darker color.

Color Coordination
A pale hue or white is the obvious choice when making a room appear larger, because those shades will reflect more light, says Mango. "But, there are some other ways to give the illusion as well. Painting an entire room, including the ceiling, walls, and trim, will decrease the amount of contrast in the room, so that the eye is less drawn to where one color stops and another starts."

The Outrageous Failure Of Straight Outta Compton

Heather Wood Rudulph — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:15:00 UT

Photo: Rex USA.

Nearly every biopic that Hollywood produces is met with backlash. It’s practically impossible to accurately depict all events of a person's life, group, or historical event without leaving something out — or getting something wrong.

Mark Zuckerburg called bullshit on the accuracy of The Social Network (released in 2010), which was based on a book about the genesis of Facebook. The only thing he says they had right was his hoodie-and-jeans fashion sense.

Responding to anger over the non-cohesive image of Bob Dylan in I’m Not There (2007), co-writer Oren Moverman admitted, “Biopics can get hung up on authenticity, but our film is constantly lying.”

When the Aaliyah biopic, Aaliyah: The Princess of R&B, aired on Lifetime in 2014, Missy Elliot and Timbaland, producers and friends of the late singer, took to social media — furious about the film’s depiction of Aaliyah’s life. An internet backlash was sparked that raged for days.

These types of gripes are part of the package deal when filmmakers make a movie about real life people. The line between reality and fiction becomes blurred, creative license sometimes trumps truth, and devoted fans get pissed.

But, some twists of the truth are more damaging than others. In the new film, Straight Outta Compton — about pioneering hip-hop group N.W.A. and its members, including Ice Cube, Eazy-E, and Dr. Dre. — there’s a glaring omission: Dr. Dre’s brutal 1991 assault of Dee Barnes, journalist and TV personality. Her crime? Interviewing Ice Cube, (who had recently quit the group over royalty disputes), for a TV segment that was supposed to solely focus on the remaining members of N.W.A.

According to court documents, the Los Angeles Times, and countless re-tellings of the event, it went down something like this: Dr. Dre approached Barnes at a private club in Hollywood, grabbed her hair, and bashed her face against a brick wall. And that was only the beginning. Barnes recalls the entire incident in an op-ed published on Gawker this week, which calls out the absence of the attack in the film. In her essay, she’s not asking for a dramatization of the attack, but she wants an acknowledgement that it did happen.

“I didn’t want to see a depiction of me getting beat up, just like I didn’t want to see a depiction of Dre beating up Michel’le, his one-time girlfriend who recently summed up their relationship this way: “I was just a quiet girlfriend who got beat on and told to sit down and shut up.”

"But what should have been addressed is that it occurred. When I was sitting there in the theater, and the movie’s timeline skipped by my attack without a glance, I was like, ‘Uhhh, what happened?’ Like many of the women that knew and worked with N.W.A., I found myself a casualty of Straight Outta Compton’s revisionist history.”

Photo: Paul Archuleta/Getty.

Straight Outta Compton shares a title with N.W.A.’s debut album, which came out in 1988. It depicted the grizzly realities of life for inner-city Black people: murder, drugs, gangs, political oppression, racism, and hopelessness. It set ablaze the world of rap, provoked outrage by horrified suburban white parents, and led to Congressional hearings on issues of censorship and free speech.

A large part of what made it so incendiary was its bravado. Commentary on police brutality didn’t just present facts of injustice. It came with threats to retaliate, and with semi-automatic weapons. Anecdotes about the crack epidemic and gang warfare in the Black community included admissions of drive-by shootings set to a party beat. Tales of domestic violence and pimping women (consistently called "bitches" and "hos") weren't cautionary tales of a broken community, but a bragging right.

Boasting about their mistakes, and even crimes rappers had committed was at the very essence of the era known as gangsta rap, which N.W.A. helped usher in. Rape, abuse, pimping, selling drugs, and even murder became badges of honor in the never-ending competition between rap artists to showcase the most authentic representation of street life. Some of the tales are true, some merely represent things artists saw, and others are fabrication. But the image was all that mattered.

The absence of Barnes’ beating in Straight Outta Compton is contradictory to the very point of hip-hop, which is to expose the ills of society, even the artists’ own. Not only does it disrespect (again) the woman who endured a man twice her size bashing her head against walls, choking her, and stomping on her fingers, it also misrepresents what the group stood for — which made it both divisive and extremely successful.

Shortly following the incident between Dr. Dre and Barnes, members of N.W.A. addressed the attack in a more, let’s say, “authentic” way. In an interview with MTV News, MC Ren said,

“That’s what she gets. I hope she get it again.”

Eazy-E and DJ Yella nodded at his side, as he reiterates:

“She did something she knows she did and she got beat down. And I hope it happens again.”

In a June 1991 interview in The Source, Eazy-E did more than nod. Here's his explanation for the incident:

“The bitch deserved it. She knew that. We were closer than that, we were like family, we’ve been knowin’ her for a long time. It’s business.”

Being so callous about a clear case of assault proves that the primary objective for all of N.W.A’s members at the time was to project an image of, “Don’t fuck with us.” But now, in their life story, the members of the group want to project an impossible reality. As Barnes says, “They’re trying to stay hard and look like good guys.” There’s no such thing as a gangster with a heart of gold.

After the death of Eazy-E in 1995, N.W.A. split up for good. Its members grew up, moved on, and forged different careers that didn’t require constantly upping their bad-guy reputations. The surviving members of N.W.A. are arguably all better men today than they were in the ’90s. Dr. Dre even sort of apologized for the incident with Barnes in the latest issue of Rolling Stone, and chalked it up to being young and stupid.

But Straight Outta Compton isn’t about these modern, maybe reformed men. It’s about the young Black rebels who proudly dubbed themselves “gangsters,” called for riots against prejudiced law enforcement, and spoke about women as affectionately as one might reference a moldy dish sponge. This is a film about the making of a notorious brand, created by notoriously flawed individuals who made their very careers off of flaunting those flaws. To hold up the legacy of N.W.A is to maintain its street cred. And the only way to do that is with the truth.

The Adult's Guide To Pajamas

Alyssa Coscarelli — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:00:00 UT

I don’t know about you guys, but my pajama drawer is a scary, scary place. First of all, it’s filled to the brim; I wish I could say it’s chock-full with satin sets and sexy slips, but the reality is quite the opposite. It’s like a black hole of old Christmas pajamas, high school T-shirts, and sweatpants of boyfriends past. Then, of course, there’s the oversized sweatshirts, mismatched socks, and ratty boxers — often worn together for a sleep look that’s quite the sight to behold.

Part of “growing up” — aside from say, landing a job or opening that first credit card — is finally taking the leap to throw those dreadful pieces out in exchange for quality, comfortable pajamas that are actually nice to look at. From printed robes to cute sleep shirts and matching sets, the world of pajamas is deathly underrated, and as a real “adult,” it’s time to take advantage. Who knows, you might just sleep better, too. Click on for 30 pajama picks that will finally replace that old college combo.

Having your PJ top match your bottoms is a major step toward adulthood.

For warm summer nights.

Seeing stars.

A timeless set to last you for years to come.

This marble print begs for a "Woke Up Like This" Instagram.

The minimalist's pajama set.

Worth the splurge.

Cashmere from head to toe? Sign us up.

Bedhead optional.

Mesmerizing.

A checkered neutral.

Nope, never taking this off.

Printed all over.

Lounge around in this instead of your towel.

Look cute when you go off to dream land.

#FreeTheNipple, am I right?

Peachy.

Almost too pretty to wear to bed.

Simplicity at its finest.

Wait, this is a pajama? (Yes.)

One piece that's so much nicer than your oversized T-shirt.

Looks like a set, but it's all-in-one.

Play with your prints.

Rainy Sunday uniform.

RIP, college sorority tee.

All white everything.

Pants are overrated.

Wear it out of the house if you're running late.

It can double as a bathing suit cover-up.

At What Age Was It O.K. To Be Sexually Attracted To Uncle Jesse?

Vanessa Golembewski — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:00:00 UT

Photo: ABC Photo Archives/Getty Images.

Like many a tweenage girl, I spent the ‘90s hanging posters of my celebrity crushes on my bedroom walls. We're talking Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Devon Sawa, and Jesse Katsopolis. One of these is not like the other. For one thing, John Stamos is 24 years my senior. It’s no wonder Tiger Beat didn’t really include tear-away posters of him in its magazine. Yet Full House’s Uncle Jesse was decidedly a babe — a truth I knew at nine years old. It looks like I’m not alone either.

Today, Stamos turns 52 and continues to age like the fine wine he is. And he’s returning to his role as Uncle Jesse in the upcoming 2016 Fuller House reboot on Netflix. It feels like the right time to finally answer a question I’ve had for years: At what age was it appropriate to openly crush on Stamos, who was a grown-up?

I was born the same year Full House premiered, in 1987. And, by the age of nine, I was in full-on puppy love with Stamos. But, there has to be some kind of deeper reason why I thought Uncle Jesse was It. I recently asked my mom if maybe Full House was playing on the TV in the delivery room, or if maybe it was on TV a lot when I was too small to remember it. Maybe there’s a subconscious connection there. My mom confirmed that Full House was definitely on all the time when I was small, “but so were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” And, while I have zero romantic feelings about my reptilian friends, I did 100% want to date Casey Jones. (That is a separate story.)

However, KidsHealth.org, a site for kids endorsed by D’Arcy Lyness, PhD, asserts that it’s theoretically normal that the child version of me had feelings for Uncle Jesse. “Your crush could even be someone you don’t know, like a professional athlete or celebrity,” the site explains. “Maybe you think about what it would be like to meet that person, even though you probably never will. It’s still fun to imagine!” The most fun!

Over the years (as in, to this day), I still found Uncle Jesse to be the bee’s knees. No matter how many cute and age-appropriate boyfriends D.J. had (yes, even Steve), I was still Team Stamos. What made Uncle Jesse so special? He was a good dad and uncle. He was in a band. He had great hair. Oh, and for a time, he made a profession out of pest control; the ability to kill bugs quickly and without me seeing them is high up on my list of perfect-man qualities.

Still, I needed someone professional to weigh in, here. Am I a weirdo?

Photo: ABC Photo Archives/Getty Images.

Sex expert Logan Levkoff, PhD assured me I am not. “We have eyes, too,” she told me via email, adding that crushes can begin quite early and that preschool-age children often talk about marrying someone. (Guilty.) “They don’t really know what that entails," Dr. Levkoff says, "but they have feelings, even if they aren’t consciously ‘sexual.’” It’s true that, even though I claimed to love Uncle Jesse, I didn’t want to bump uglies with him — nor did I fully understand the concept of intercourse.

Levkoff suggests that maybe I wanted to be part of the Tanner family, and that I became attached to Uncle Jesse because he was part of it. “We use role play throughout our lives,” she explains. This is a possibility. But, it still doesn’t explain why I not only started a crush on Jesse as a child, but also maintained that crush for more than 20 years. I don’t think any of the other guys on my wall are babes anymore. (Sorry, Taylor Hanson.) And I certainly didn't crush on Bob Saget or Dave Coulier.

I suppose it was never totally socially acceptable to be attracted to Uncle Jesse as a child. But, I can take comfort in knowing that this type of attraction was a widespread phenomenon — whether or not it was an appropriate one. “You are certainly not alone. I promise,” Dr. Levkoff wrote. “Go to an all-girls sleepaway camp and check out the photos hanging on the wall.”

YOU Can Help Refinery29 Go To SXSW 2016

Us — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 13:00:00 UT

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.

SXSW is more than just live music and the best breakfast burrito you’ve ever had. Every year, tech geniuses, musicians, brands, foodies, media mavens, and more make the trip to Austin, TX. The Interactive portion of the conference is a place for leaders and experts across different industries to talk about the hot topics of the moment. That’s where the SXSW Panel Picker (and you!) comes into play.

We need your help voting for panels featuring Refinery29 to be at SXSW 2016. Anyone can submit a session and the conference agenda is selected by public vote. You have until September 4 to cast your vote — but why wait? Take 5 minutes and vote now.

Here’s how to vote:

1) Click here: http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/vote.

2) Set up an account (we promise, they won’t spam you).

3) Search "Refinery29."

4) Give us a thumbs up to vote for each panel!

A full breakdown of our 2016 submissions:

Beyond Words: Images As Language
Whether we create or source the images, we live in an age where people are in control of curating the story of their lives through imagery.

Brand Power: More Than Just A Pretty Picture
When the word "brand" comes to mind, most people think of a logo or an ad. It’s so much more than that: It’s a spirit, ethos, and way of being — and guides everything we do.

Hungry Eyes: The Changing Face Of Stock Images
The landscape for stock photography is rapidly changing as brands need more and more content. We speak with experts about how the need for beautiful, on-brand, bespoke imagery is changing the way stock archives do business.

Why All Videos Should Emulate Pee-Wee’s Playhouse
Pee-Wee’s Playhouse said, “Fuck it. We want to do it all.” By encouraging good-doing, cracking whip-smart jokes, and having fun in the candy-colored chaos, the series captured a wide audience throughout its run. Based on Pee-Wee's success, we discuss how content, when done well, can transcend age and time.

Laugh & Look Good While Standing For Something
The Internet isn't just cat GIFs. The speakers on this stage discuss how digital content can be more than laughed at and forgotten; it can serve a better purpose and speak about important issues.

Beyond The Listicle: The Science Of Virality
What does virality really mean — and how can media companies and brands leverage sharable content to build an audience?

Brave New URL: Winning On Mobile-Social Platforms
Audiences are bypassing the desktop and consuming content faster than ever before, but in order to succeed and grow, media companies must adapt to keep up.

Storytelling Sells
Is the "buy now" message the most effective marketing campaign in the digital world? Join Facebook and a panel of advertisers as they discuss the value of storytelling in marketing and the role of creative in delivering business results.

Here's How You Sell Bras & Change The World
This conversation looks at brands using female empowerment as a key element of their communications, nonprofits looking for ways to bring their message to wider audiences, and digital marketing executives helping them tell their stories.

Clicky Vs. Tricky: The Ethics Of AB Testing
AB testing tools have unlocked the potential for unprecedented growth and taken the guesswork out of crafting good headlines, but using data to inform story positioning also opens up questions about the line between clicky and tricky.

Shhh… The Power Of Micro Communities
Today’s most powerful publishers are quietly achieving scale by serving their most powerful users: micro communities.

Making The News Personal
How does R29 make millions of young people care about the 2016 election? You take the news and personalize it. In this panel, a group of writers and editors covering politics for young people online discuss how they tell stories.

Humans, Not Machines: Content Is About Connecting
With an abundance of platforms for content and more data at our disposal than ever before, how do publishers create compelling content that resonates with an audience and still fulfills company goals? You need the perfect balance of art and science. This panel explores where emotion meets data.

How The Internet Changes What & How We Eat
This panel will look at all the unexpected ways that the Internet is helping the next generation of entrepreneurs and food activists remake the food system to accommodate both a rapidly changing world and a new kind of customer.

Publishers & The Power Of The People
YouTube, Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat, and Twitter enable individuals to reach millions. These Internet celebrities are everyday people who have leveraged social media to build huge followings and use their influence to form partnerships with some of the world’s biggest brands.

Don't Call Me Mom
The modern millennial mom, like all millennial women, is multifaceted. She is passionate and driven. Technology empowers these moms like no generation before, allowing them to continue pursuing interests and passions independent of motherhood, so don't just call her mom.

Achieving Scale & Deepening Engagement
As media companies across the board strive to scale across multiple platforms, how do they balance retaining a strong point of view with growing their audience?

Let’s Drop The Term Millennials
Philippe von Borries, co-founder and CEO of Refinery29, believes millennial culture reflects a global way of thinking around identity and self-expression. He will discuss how this mindset affects the future of business and societal implications.

Does International Exist Or Are We One Community?
Access to information and the tools to connect with people around the world have empowered audiences globally, affecting how media companies think about launching international branches and are moving towards building content targeted to an audience with a global mindset.

The Future of Digital Media Is NOT E-Commerce
Refinery29 will unveil its research study on how brands can influence buying power on e-commerce platforms. Driving consumers direct to purchase isn’t always the way to win.

Women Rule The Digital World
Over the last five years, more and more women have risen to the top ranks of digital leadership. The panel features women at the top of their game, providing an inside look at how they broke into the biz, the challenges they faced, and their insights on the future of digital business.

We Can't Get Over This Little Boy Crying About The First Day Of School

Erin Donnelly — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 12:30:00 UT

Before you start gently mocking your friends for posting a gazillion photos of their kids' first day of school, take a moment to watch this video. The pain is real, people. Like, we don't even know this kid and we want to sweep into his classroom, tell him to grab his backpack, and peace out, never to return.

Allow us to explain. This little cutie in the blue polo shirt is Andrew. He's four, and he's starting his first day of school at pre-K. Andrew kindly stopped to field a few questions about the experience for a local reporter, until she lobbed him with a journalistic right hook that would take David Frost by surprise.

"Are you going to miss your mom?"

Poor Andrew proclaims "no," then nervously giggles and crumples into a full Claire Danes level nine cry-face. We imagine this is how Sarah Palin felt when Katie Couric asked her about her reading habits.

Long story short, Andrew will miss his mommy (who will probably be playing this video at every family gathering), that reporter is a monster (kidding), and our hearts have been smashed into a million pieces. Stay strong, kid. There's always recess. (PopSugar)

The first day of school brought mixed emotions for many students, including 4-year-old Andrew Macias, who spoke to us on...
Posted by KTLA 5 News on Tuesday, August 18, 2015

ISIS Publicly Executes Syrian Antiquities Expert After He Refuses To Lead Them To Ancient Artifacts

Molly Horan — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 12:30:00 UT

Khaled al-Asaad in front of a rare sarcophagus from Palmyra depicting two priests dating from the first century. Photo: Marc Deville/Getty Images.

The Islamic State group, also known as ISIS or ISIL, has murdered a Syrian antiquities expert and museum director after he refused to lead them to ancient treasures the terrorist group reportedly sought to destroy.

ISIS, which has taken over swaths of territory in Iraq and Syria in the hopes of establishing a state that adheres to strict Muslim law, publicly executed Khaled al-Asaad, who worked as a professor and held the title of general manager for Palmyra, one of Syria's most ancient sites and museum, according to the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights.

The scholar was murdered in front of a crowd on Tuesday in Palmyra's square. ISIS has controlled the city since mid-May, according to The Wall Street Journal. He had been captured and held prisoner by ISIS for more than a month before he was beheaded.

Al-Asaad had spent much of his life overseeing precious artifacts from one of the oldest civilizations in the world. Palmyra contains the monumental ruins of a city that, between the first and second centuries, was the cultural center of the Middle East. The site was declared a UNESCO World Heritage site in 1980.

He was executed after he reportedly refused to lead his captors to the historical sites they sought to destroy, The Guardian reports. ISIS fighters have been targeting and obliterating ancient artifacts, including collections found in Iraq's Mosul Museum in February and tombs near Palmyra in June.

Scholars and friends around the world have taken to social media to decry al-Asaad's murder.

I have know the great Dr Khaled al-Asad since childhood-shocking that symbol of #Palmyra is slaughters in its street pic.twitter.com/dgG8rKDGi0
— Rim Turkmani (@Rim_Turkmani) August 18, 2015

Saddened and outraged to learn of the brutal murder of Khaled Asaad in Palmyra, a terrible loss to the cultural heritage community
— Irina Bokova (@IrinaBokova) August 19, 2015

The soul of a civilization lies in its memories. Save #Palmyra pic.twitter.com/vjHZ0KN4ke In memory of #KhaledalAssad, who stood up to ISIS
— Amanda Foreman (@DrAmandaForeman) August 19, 2015

The real heroes saving Syria's Cultural heritage are the women/men risking their lives daily inside Syria. All we can do is support them.
— Amr Al-Azm (@alazmamr) July 9, 2015

A photo that has not yet been verified reportedly shows al-Asaad's body with a placard accusing him of, among other things, "managing Palmyra’s collection of 'idols.'"

The antiquities scholar's murder is only the latest barbaric act by ISIS. Last week, New York Times reporter Rukmini Callimachi exposed the way ISIS has kidnapped thousands of Yazidi women and children, forcing them into a network of sexual slavery and organized rape. The family of Kayla Mueller, an American aid worker who was kidnapped by ISIS, also revealed how the terrorist group's leader had repeatedly raped and tortured her before she was eventually killed earlier this year.

Kelly Clarkson Sings Tinder Profiles, Nails It Per Usual

Elizabeth Kiefer — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 12:15:00 UT

Photo: MediaPunch/REX USA.

Kelly Clarkson is pretty much the gift that keeps on giving. Not only did she present us with "Heartbeat Song" this year, she's also been nailing each and every cover she's performed on tour.

Kelly singing Rihanna's "Stay?" Check. Kelly knocking "Wrecking Ball" out of the park? Double check. Kelly one-upping the Jonas Brothers' version of "Jealous?" Perfect. And there are so many more where these came from.

But our favorite Kelly Clarkson moment in recent memory definitely has to be her vocal stylings of Tinder profiles on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Jamie Foxx did this a couple months back and set a high bar: It seems fair to say that Kelly soared to new heights. Don't take our word for it though — watch this one for yourself.

Also, keep an ear out for these three phrases: Hairless cat. Baking cookies. Smoking blunts. GENIUS.

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Today, In Trends Not To DIY: Hood By Air's Bic-Lighter Earrings

Ana Colon — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 12:00:00 UT

Photo: Courtesy of Farfetch.

Certain trends are easy to DIY; others all but come with a "Do Not Try This At Home" sticker. It's safe to say lighter earrings fall into the latter category. Yes, these are real — they're created by subversive fashion label Hood By Air, a brand that is no stranger to twisting your brain into a knot. This magnetic pair from Hood By Air's fall '15 Pitti Uomo 87 Show collection resembles ordinary Bic lighters, minus the ability to generate flame. Its purpose, instead, is to spark conversation.

Your gut reaction may be to roll your eyes — not only at the earrings' $100+ price tag, but also at the fact that they're sold out at retailers such as Farfetch and LuisaViaRoma. (Yes, people are buying these lighter earrings.)

But, consider this: What is designer Shayne Oliver — who has never been one to stick to the ordinary — trying to say with a pair of earrings that are, essentially, just a branded lighter? Here, with "HBA" stamped across the bottom, this average bodega purchase becomes a statement piece. Now, it's a luxury — and one you don't even need pierced ears to wear.

HBA's products retail anywhere between $165 (for a T-shirt) and $3,513.34 (for a parka). So, in the grand scheme of designer goods, a pair of $145 earrings is a relatively affordable investment in a game-changing brand. And, while not actually functional on Fashion Week cigarette breaks, one thing's for sure: These earrings will definitely be a great ice-breaker at parties.

Photo: Courtesy of Farfetch.

63 Naked Men Talk About Their Penises — & It's Eye-Opening (SFW)

Hayley MacMillen — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 12:00:00 UT

This post was originally published on September 12, 2014.

Whether positive or negative, women's body parts receive a lot of attention in the cultural conversation. Recently, 100 women stripped down to talk about their boobs. Meanwhile, Nicki Minaj focuses on the buns, hun. And, while some women struggle to accept their thighs, others turn to the labia library to confirm that, regardless of what porn depicts, their own lady parts are very, very normal. Men's body parts, on the other hand, go relatively undiscussed — at least in any thoughtful manner. And then, lo and behold, along comes a documentary dedicated to that misunderstood member of our society: the penis. Dick: The Documentary is out today online, and the plot is simple: 63 naked men share their innermost thoughts about their dicks. And, many of them may surprise you.

Director Brian Fender first got the idea for the project while at an independent filmmakers' conference in August 2008. "I'm a gay man; of course the first thing that pops into my head is a documentary about men and their dicks," he relates in the trailer above. Immediately, Fender posted an ad to Craigslist inviting men to come into his home, strip down, and spill the details of their relationships with their genitalia. He started filming the very next morning with his first volunteer. The director recognizes the apparent shadiness of his online proposition: "If you poll the majority of this country, they would say ‘What kind of pervert would answer an ad, take his clothes off, and talk about his dick?’... [But] I thought they were incredibly thoughtful."

Fender was diagnosed with ALS in 2011; when the trailer above was shot, his speech was halting, but still coherent. As his condition worsened, filmmaker Ladawna Whiteside and producer Chiemi Karasawa (whose past credits include the Elaine Stritch documentary, Shoot Me) joined the Dick team to help realize Fender's vision of bringing together (anonymous) men of all types — gay, straight, bi, muscular, soft, young, old, black, white, ex-Marine, monk, designer — to speak candidly about what it's like have a penis. Some are nervous ("I've never done a nude scene before," one jokes), but all are eager to have this conversation. "You always see things about female body parts — never about male body parts," one man observes. "There's not a good discourse," another points out.

The 63 men interviewed, who range in age from 22 to 83 years old, speak of the first times they realized they had penises, their first sexual experiences, and their current sex lives. One recalls his first orgasm from masturbation: "I don’t think there is anything in my life that has been as profound as the first time I actually made myself come," he says. "This was something that was completely within my grasp…that I could be in such extreme and simple rapture... I told all my friends, and they were like 'Oh yeah, that’s jerking off.' I was like, 'That’s it, that’s jerking off?'"

Other stories are more serious: Multiple men describe with regret how their parents never spoke with them about their sexual development; others speak of past sexual abuse and its impact on their relationships with their bodies. They showed up at Fender's apartment out of curiosity, and out of their desire to broach a topic they felt they couldn't discuss elsewhere. This simple, DIY movie is one step toward de-stigmatizing that topic. As of today, the film is available to purchase for on-demand viewing online; you can also pre-order the DVD, available in 2015.

Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green Are Separating After 11 Years Together

Lauren Le Vine — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 11:45:00 UT

Photo: Picture Perfect/REX USA.

Us Weekly is reporting that Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green quietly separated six months ago. The couple, who are both actors, have been together for 11 years — they were married for five of them.

"Things have been rocky," a source close to Fox and Green told Us. The couple has yet to release a statement confirming the split. Refinery29 could not reach their reps for comment.

They met when Green guest-starred on the sitcom Hope & Faith. "I didn’t know who he was from 90210, but I liked him right away. Everyone was around the monitor watching a scene, and Brian accidentally touched my leg. I remember literal electricity shooting through me and out me from every direction. It was like magic," Fox told The New York Times Magazine in November 2009. By the time of that interview, they had been a couple for five years, "Despite the nearly 13-year age difference," The Times noted.

Fox and Green were engaged in 2006, but called it off in 2009. They got engaged again in 2010 and married that June in Hawaii. The couple welcomed son Noah Shannon Green on September 27, 2012 and son Bodhi Ransom Green on February 12, 2014.

We will update this story as it develops. (Us Weekly)

A photo posted by Brian Austin Green (@arent_you_that_guy) on Sep 24, 2014 at 11:06pm PDT