This week, the comedian brought his unique brand of insult comedy to a new show on Comedy Central, The Jeselnik Offensive. I'll admit it wasn't as good as I wanted it to be (critiquing fashion in a segment meant to mock Fashion Police isn’t his strong suit), but if I closed my eyes, it's just like I was in bed, drifting off to his deep, smooth baritone.
Marry: Even though I said I’d take a break from waxing rhapsodic about Parks and Recreation, I was totally going to write about Ben and Leslie’s wedding here. Except...my DVR cut off 15 minutes into the hour-long episode that I can now only assume was magical, heartwarming, and life-changing beyond compare. I have never felt this betrayed in my life. There is no love. There is no happiness. God is dead.
So fine, I also went on a Netflix Archer binge this weekend and am now pretty smitten with the H. Jon Benjamin-voiced ISIS agent with the exceptionally chiseled jaw and even more well-honed Oedipal complex. In this week’s episode, Archer gets bitten by a snake, and a cut-rate James Mason It’s a Wonderful Lifes him. Check it out, mostly for the line about how they can’t be in heaven because Janis Joplin isn’t doing something extremely scatological to Sterling.
Also: It’s unclear when my sense of humor became that of a 13-year-old boy. Probably around the time my DVR became Benedict Arnold. I will never get over this. You’re dead to me, DVR.
Kill: (Warning: major spoilers ahead) Have you guys been watching Revenge lately? Cool, me neither. But when I saw a spoiler online about a "SHOCKING DEATH" this week, clearly I had to tune in to see if the writers were getting the show back on track by offing the character we all hoped.
Well, bull's-eye. Amanda Clarke (née Emily Thorne) bit the dust, which means that after Jack mourns the death of his new wife and mother of his child, blah blah blah, Emily (née Amanda Clarke) and Mr. Porter can finally be together, just like destiny has manifested since they first appeared on our screens as fictional 8-year-olds romping on a sun-drenched Hamptons beach with Emily’s beautiful yellow lab. It’s so wonderful when made-up people finally find true love.
Photo: Courtesy of Matt Hoyle/Comedy Central; Courtesy of FX Network; Courtesy of Ron Tom/ABC