A Totally Ill-Advised Guide To Your Passive-Aggressive Friend

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Passiveaggressivefriend_slide1_MaddyIllustrated by Madelyn Somers.
Reductress is the first and only satirical women's magazine, taking on the best and worst of women's media, marketing and consumer culture.

You really love your friend, but she can sometimes be just a tiny bit passive-aggressive. Here are some subtle, kind of under-the-radar ways to let her know she’s in the wrong without being too in-her-face about it.

Ignore her.
So, maybe your friend is “organizing” Katie L.’s baby shower but she didn’t list you as a co-organizer in the Evite, even though you’re making finger sandwiches and explained BPA-free baby products to her. Don’t RSVP and it’ll be pretty clear how you feel about that.

Find other ways to ignore her.
Let’s say your friend drives over to pick you up for Katie G.’s birthday dinner and she keeps asking if you’re ready yet, as if you’re the one running late! Can you believe that? Just keep saying, “I’m coming!” but move at your own speed. She’ll get it.

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Hint that you know when she’s trying to exclude you.
Last night there was another “impromptu” get together on your friend’s roof. Add a comment saying, “Looks like fun! #thanksfortheinvite ;)” on the Instagram photos to let them know you want to support their good time even though you deliberately weren’t included, and they’ll realize that they can’t get away with that.

Take her to task for things that aren’t the thing you’re really annoyed about. Your friend went to see Maleficent with her cousin even though you have said a million times that Angelina Jolie is your spirit animal. Just text her, “Guess your finances are in order. Reminder you owe me $14 for The Other Woman if you can afford movies again ;))))”

Whatever happens, don’t lose your cool.
Has your friend been flirting all night with the ONLY hot guy at this party, even though she KNOWS you haven’t had a date in months?! Just pee in her shampoo like a grown-up.

The key to dealing with a passive-aggressive friend is to never stoop to her level. Openly alert her to her abuse of your friendship in a quiet, yet direct manner. She’ll figure it out eventually.

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