This post was originally published on July 30, 2014.
By Kendall McKenzie
I'm a 17-year-old female virgin and I love my boyfriend, but I'm so scared to have sex; sometimes I will move and I will just randomly queef?! I really don't want to have sex with him just because I'm scared I'll queef in bed and die of embarrassment. I'm ready for sex, but that's putting me off.
Raise your hand if you own a vagina and that vagina has queefed. FYI: Everyone with a vagina is raising their hands. Queefs (A.K.A. vagina farts) happen when air works its way into the vaginal canal and then escapes, sometimes making a fart-y "toot-toot" sound as it passes back out through the vaginal opening.
Queefs aren’t like the farts that come from your butt, which are caused by bacteria breaking down food and releasing gas, giving butt farts their trademark odor. Queefs don’t smell because they’re caused by plain old air. They’re basically the vaginal version of making fart sounds with your mouth.
Queefs, as you noted, are sometimes completely random. But, they’re especially common during sexy-time because fingers, penises, or sex toys can easily push air up there. Your vagina also expands when you’re turned on, which makes more room for air. And, vaginal moistness, which increases during sex, helps make that “poot poot” sound.
What I’m getting at is that queefs are way normal and nothing to be embarrassed about — they’re just air! And, your boyfriend should feel the same. Besides, there’s really no surefire way to stop it. In fact, concentrating on preventing queefs can cause tension and stress, which makes sex less comfortable and enjoyable. The best way to deal with it is to simply chuckle and keep going.
Here’s a little secret about sex: It’s kind of weird and messy and funny. There are smells. There are sounds. There are fluids. We sweat and grunt and make faces we didn’t even know existed and twist our bodies into silly positions. Sex is an intimate process that makes some of us feel pretty vulnerable, which is why it’s best to save it for someone you feel comfortable with, and who treats you with kindness and respect — like the kind of people who couldn’t care less how queefy your vagina is.
So, if your boyfriend falls into that category, and you both feel ready for sex, don’t let the fear of a little air slow your roll. On the flip side, if you’re truly so worried about queefing that you won’t enjoy sex, it may be best to hold off until you feel more comfortable. Sex should be fun, not stressful!
And, while you shouldn’t worry about queefs, you should worry about the serious consequences that can come from having sex: STDs and pregnancy. So, remember to use birth control and condoms every time you have sex.