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Olympics

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karl
Karl Lagerfeld is most like...Scottish Track Cyclist Sir Chris Hoy.

At first glance, we wouldn't expect the Kaiser to have much in common with a man who wears brightly colored spandex each and every day, but good lord, were we wrong. With four gold medals to his name as the most successful male cyclist in Olympic history, Scotland's Chris Hoy is so talented that he was knighted by the Queen for his contribution to the sport. And, with Karl receiving France's Legion of Honour award and kicking ass every season — let's  be real, we're still dreaming about fall '10's furry Chewbacca boots — it's clear that it's more than just body composition that's keeping these two on top. 

Photo: Via Selfridges
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Alexa Chung is most like...Russian rhythmic gymnast Alina Makarenko.

This one actually makes a ton of sense. Long, limber, and lean, Alina's job at the Olympic Games is to simultaneously look gorgeous and flawless throughout a technical and artistic presentation. With Alexa's knack from throwing on anything from decades past and looking insta-chic, these two are right in line. Her natural fashion sense and enviously lengthy limbs may not have gotten her to the Olympics, but she's still doing a kickass job of prancing across any floor in ultimate style.

Photo: Courtesy of Maje
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Gisele Bündchen is most like...Japanese boxer Satoshi Shimizu.

We've spent the better part of her career being endlessly jealous of, um, everything this superstar's got goin' on, but thanks to BBC and some long-overdue genetic payback, there's finally vengeance. Though the personal stature of this writer mimics that of a female Italian water-polo player, Gisele, with those perfect legs and flawless everything, is apparently a physical copy of Satoshi Shimizu, a male bantamweight boxer. Alright, so he's a super lightweight — his division was named after a breed of tiny chickens, after all — but even his slim stature won't take away from the fact that the world's top model got body-matched to a dude.

Photo: Courtesy of Espirit
alexander
Alexander McQueen's armadillo shoes are most like...Japanese gymnast Asuka Teramoto.

These 10-inch stunners pretty much topped out the competition in terms of jawdroppingly tall heels, but Japan's teeny-tiny gymnast — who is 4 feet, 6 inches tall — can do some serious tumbling, and we're not talking the kind we'd we'd be doing after trying to strut in these bad boys. We'd like to side with shoes so dangerous that the models refused to walk in them, but at the end of the day, they're just not as shiny as the promise of a gold medal. Sigh.

Photo: Via The Met