Periods happen. While we should respect this veritable quintessence of life, when it comes to railin’ whilst on the rag, things can get a tad complicated. But, it needn’t be so! We spoke to a team of experts (an OB/GYN, a physical therapist, and a porn star) about riding through that time of the month. Consider this a friendly little treatise and heed their tips, tricks, and wisdom, because boning is boning, and no time should be off limits.
There are actually some good things that come with the crimson tide. Speaking of hormones, by the time your period arrives, it’s time to celebrate — for not being knocked up (if that’s your fancy), and for saying goodbye to the prickly monthly pique of PMS. If you’re a crotchety member of the latter camp, it’s a thrill to trade in your grumpy pants for the hand of a partner as you traipse off to the bedroom, or wherever the mood may take you. One sagacious porn star, Wolf Hudson, has found from extensive experience that “women who are on their period tend to be more sexually aroused. Being that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, to me that’s a plus.”
On the other hand, Suzanne Hall, OB/GYN and founder of gynogroupie.com, tells me: “It appears the hormonal ‘surge’ and the possibility of increased libido would occur around ovulation (two weeks before menstrual flow) as a biologic adaptation to increase the occurrences of pregnancy.” So, our anecdotal evidence and gynecological considerations may be slightly at odds, but we suppose it can be chalked up to everyone experiencing unique sensations of horniness on an individual scale. Regardless of when your personal sexy "surge" occurs — hey, maybe you’re lucky and always at the ready, like Wolf — it's a great time to indulge.
And, on the physical side of things, indulgence is easier than ever; take this as an opportunity to embrace local, organic, all-natural lube. Everyone loves a wet partner, and you get this quality in droves when Madame Menses joins the party. Plus, as Tracy Sher, physical therapist, owner, and clinical director at Sher Pelvic Health and Healing, told me, “some women who have pain with intercourse or hormonal changes with dryness actually find the time of menstruation to be much more comfortable.” Further, she says, “their partners seem to be open to intercourse and/or sexual play because they feel better knowing they won’t hurt them.”
In other words, your flow shouldn’t be seen as a big, red flag standing in your way. Instead, try to view it as a libidinous welcome wagon waving you on to the finish line.
But, there’s more: Dr. Hall suggests, “the time of your menstrual flow is the least likely time to get pregnant.” This is important for those using the rhythm method of birth control (which involves diligent tracking of menstruation to determine most and least likely times for ovulation). She’s quick to point out, however, that this is one of the least effective forms of birth control, and the risk of STDs and pelvic infection “could be higher during your period, because the cervix is open, allowing for easier transfer of bacteria." Of course, she adds, "safe sex is important.”
There's nothing less sexy than an unplanned pregnancy or STDs, so, as always, safety first. But, our case stands: There’s no reason not to engage in hemic humping.
Make It Sexy
Look at it as a novelty. There’s much to explore around this unfamiliar realm. Like Mario storming King Koopa’s fiery castle, see what exciting places you can go. This can be a fun time to get creative with ambience and decor. Turn off the lights, break out the candles, lay down a dark-colored towel, and set up a shadowy and intimate little scene. Not only does this create a sexy, Sting-like vibe, but embracing the dim side prevents any potential messiness from shocking either of you out of the mood. Playing around under a mysterious cloak of obscurity can lead you somewhere you might not reach in the light.
Related: Should I Tell My S.O. When I'm Menstruating?
Also, obscuring the monthly mist can be achieved any time, day or night, simply by experimenting with positioning. Here’s a suggestion: Ladies, hop on top. It’s a simple solution if your partner’s on the more squeamish side, and its benefits are twofold. Firstly, any semblance of bloody massacre is physically blocked from sight. Secondly, the view becomes that of your amazing frontside, which includes such lovely things as your beautiful face and awesome tits. This is a total win-win for everyone involved.
Our smarty smutster Mr. Hudson advises: “As a precaution, if she’s experiencing a heavy flow and it’s stressing her out during sex, I always keep makeup sponges handy as they’re super absorbent for such an event.” One may go that swoon-worthy extra mile to win their lady’s heart, but even keeping a washcloth or tissues handy to sweep away the evidence post-disembarking gets you right back to business as usual.
Get Over Your Reservations
This is basically the rippling undercurrent beneath all of our carnal counsel. Dr. Hall puts things rather poetically, saying: “Sex during our menstrual period, I’m quite sure, has been around since the beginning of time.” That take jibes nicely with our porn swami’s sentiment: “It’s a perfectly natural and healthy process” and “the last thing you want to do is shame a woman when it happens.” I’m not saying one should break out the pagan paraphernalia and worship at the altar of all things period (though feel free). I’m just suggesting that some understanding and a little bit of courage are all that are needed to confront the crimson caller.
And, at the very bottom line, as far as I’m concerned, women are objectively some of the most beautiful creatures upon this earth. Tell your bone-buddy to suck it up and not shy away from the loveliness and mystery of womanhood. Because, we’re all adults here. Get over it and get busy.
Next: Period Management Tips From Strippers
This post was authored by Cassie Seale.
Nerve, the cultural center of the web for sex and relationships, was one of the first online destinations to open the conversation on erotica in a candid, empowering way. Now, the folks at Nerve are bringing their smart, fearless take on everything from orgasmic meditation to the world's weirdest sex rituals to R29.