8 Cringeworthy Honeymoon Stories We Found On Reddit

Illustrated by Natalia Spotts.
One of the best parts of getting married is the honeymoon. In theory, anyway.

Honeymoons aren't always what they're cracked up to be — thanks in large part to bad luck, bad weather, or crazy relatives. There are loads of stories about newlyweds who had their wedding night plans foiled by a clingy relative or couples that ended up stranded in foreign countries or airports.

Naturally, many of these disillusioned couples take to Reddit to share their cringeworthy stories. Ahead, we've rounded up some of the craziest, funniest, saddest, and most insane accounts of honeymoons gone wrong posted to Reddit.
Advertisement

"
They stayed at the beach house. And invited the rest of the family."
"My husband's grandparents own a beach house and offered to let us honeymoon there. I assumed they'd be staying at one of their other four homes. Nope. They stayed at the beach house. And invited the rest of the family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. Over 20 people in a three-bedroom beach house. For a week. When I suggested we just go rent a motel room for the week, my husband freaked out, because we might offend someone. Sure enough, when we left to merely go for a walk on the beach, multiple people flipped out because we weren't spending time with the family. That was eight years ago. We're not divorced, but sometimes, I wish we were." — carolynroberta

"Flight got delayed several times..."
"Flight got delayed several times and we ended up spending the first night of the honeymoon sleeping on the airport floor with our beach towels as blankets." — kittenkaboodle17

"There was a lawsuit, people were fired..."
"
My dad and his first wife had a nice honeymoon at some fancy resort. Apparently, five years later, on their anniversary, they went back to rekindle the romance and booked the same room. They requested some raunchy VHS tapes to get them into the mood. As they popped one in, they couldn't help but feel that the room was a bit...familiar, shall we say?

"Unbelievably, it was the very room they were in, albeit decorated differently. It didn't take long for them to realize that the people banging away on the bed were actually them and the whole video was filmed by a hidden camera.

"This is all true. There was a lawsuit, people were fired. Unfortunately for me and my trust fund, there wasn't a major payout as it was the '70s and people weren't so litigious." — OinkOinkthenMoo
Illustrated by Natalia Spotts.

"By the morning, I had a fever of 103..."
"We went on a cruise for our honeymoon (we got married in December and only had about $1,000 for a honeymoon, so that seemed the best choice, even though we knew we weren't really 'cruise people'). The only thing we were really super excited about on the cruise was an excursion to a nature park that I had been to before, which is one of my favorite places on the planet. I woke up the night before the excursion and felt completely terrible. By the morning, I had a fever of 103 and couldn't sit up without coughing so hard I nearly threw up. I spent the whole day in the infirmary while they tried to figure out if I had something quarantine-worthy and the next two days feeling weak as hell. Definitely not an exciting honeymoon. I'm hoping to make it up to my husband on our five-year anniversary next winter." — laidymondegreen
"We had to laugh."
"Our cruise ship said they had no record of the money we put on account with them, our room smelled like someone wiped their tush with it (they couldn't switch us), the couple at our required evening dining table had recently divorced but went on the trip anyway, and a homeless guy chased us at one of our ports. We had to laugh." — ColinAllCarz
Advertisement

"The honeymoon was going great, until tragedy struck."
"My husband [27 M] and I got married a little over a week ago and have spent the last week in Hawaii — far from our home in the midwest. The honeymoon was going great, until tragedy struck.

"We have two female dogs, both rescues, and absolutely indoor dogs. We live right next to a highway. Given the opportunity, the more dominant of the two has and will always run away for doggie adventure. Each time has ended in a near-death experience for her and a well-instilled fear of what might happen if she ever got away again. Because of this, we require our dogs [to be] on leashes 100% of the time, with or without us there...

"We left our dogs with my parents, as we live in the same town, and have left them there numerous times in the past. We always double-check our instructions with them, always leashed and keep a close eye on the adventurous one. The other dog, much younger and extremely submissive, would surely follow her older sister to the ends of the earth for no reason whatsoever.

"On the fifth day of our honeymoon, 7 a.m. our time, we received a call informing us that they had been let out the previous night, only to not have shown up the next morning. As we tried to process the information, details were overlooked and the realization of two more days left on the island worrying about our babies set in. Needless to say, I was confused and speechless, but my faith in my family made me believe it had to be our dogs pushing out the door and making a great escape.

"Later that day, my brother informed us that my mother had simply let them go, just released them into the wild — precisely against the incredibly specific instructions that had been left with them. We found out that this release-and-return method had been used a few times previous to this, further hurting my trust and faith in those I love most..." — Sallistria
Illustrated by Natalia Spotts.
"My husband had to go back to India and leave me..."
"My husband is Indian and I am a U.S. citizen. We live in India. I have a tourist visa and, therefore, have to leave the country every six months and could not return to India for 60 days! So, we timed our honeymoon to Nepal to coincide with my need to leave the country. We planned for me to apply for a different visa in Nepal so that I could return within two weeks. Unfortunately, we did not have the proper stamps and signatures on our marriage certificate, so during our honeymoon, my husband had to go back to India and leave me in Nepal for 10 days to take care of paperwork stuff; when he finally returned with all the necessary documents, they would not even give me the visa I was trying to get!" — angami

" I spent half the night locked in the bathroom, crying, and the other half sleeping stiffly next to my husband. With his mother on the couch 2 meters away. On my wedding night."
"...So, it's the night of our honeymoon. DH has left to go get a bottle of Champagne for us (the legal drinking age in my country is 18, but everyone starts drinking at a younger age and there was no way I wasn't going to enjoy a glass of bubbly on my wedding night). While he's out, I decide that I'm going to get into a cute little lingerie set that I'd bought especially for the night because, hello, it was my wedding night and I wanted to look smokin' while getting it on with my hot hubby. I'm in the bathroom getting done up when I hear the door to the hotel room open. Thinking that it was my husband returning, I decide to waltz out and surprise him in my risqué little number. Except it wasn't my husband returning. It was my MIL.

"My first reaction was to scream, because 1. What the fuck was she doing here? 2. How did she get into my hotel room (because she paid for the room and her name was on the booking, she got a key from front desk) and 3. I was practically naked. I race to grab my robe, which is on the bed, and cover myself up. She laughed and reassured me, 'It's nothing I haven't seen before.' Um, okay? But it's something that I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE. ALSO, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE? So, I ask her, 'What are you doing here?'

"This is when she decides to tell me that her and FIL decided to treat themselves to a holiday and are in the hotel room next door. What. The. Fuck. Finally, my husband gets his ass back to the hotel room and, upon seeing his mother, asks what the fuck is going on. She tells him what she told me. She then continues, telling us that her and FIL had just gotten into a very heated argument and she didn't feel safe going back to the hotel room so she wants to spend the night in ours. She promises she won't bother us. This whole scenario is a fucking hot mess.

"Tristan tells her that she needs to leave our hotel room, that this is wrong on so many levels. That she wasn't going to be in our hotel room on our wedding night. MIL's reply? 'HOW DARE YOU. I PAID FOR THIS ROOM. IT'S ONLY FOR TONIGHT, FIL WILL COOL DOWN AND I'LL BE OUT TOMORROW. IF YOU DON'T LET ME STAY YOU CAN BOTH GET THE FUCK OUT.'

"We can't afford to honeymoon anywhere else. We have no home to go back to, because we were currently in the moving process and my mother and sisters were so graciously moving all our furniture in while we were on our honeymoon, so that we'd have a furnished love nest to return to. So, DH felt like he really had no choice but to let her stay. I was so angry I could have killed them both then and there.

"MIL then proceeds to say that I can sleep on the couch and she'll share the bed with DH. WHAT. THE. FUCK. This is where I drew the line and told her that there was no fucking way that she'd be sharing a bed with MY HUSBAND on MY WEDDING NIGHT. After making a snide comment to DH for him to 'teach his child bride some manners,' she reluctantly agreed to sleep on the couch, which was about two meters from our bed. I spent half the night locked in the bathroom, crying, and the other half sleeping stiffly next to my husband. With his mother on the couch two meters away. On my wedding night.

"The next morning, when we woke up, she was still there. I was hoping that she'd leave in the morning before I woke up, but no. Her face was the first thing I saw the first morning I woke up as a married woman. Little did I know, this would set the tone for the first year of my marriage. She had ordered us room service for breakfast and sat down at the dining table with us to eat. I was livid. While we're eating breakfast, she makes a comment about how quiet we were last night. 'Didn't consummate the marriage?' No, you stupid fucking rat. We didn't consummate the marriage. BECAUSE YOU WERE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TWO METERS AWAY. THE ENTIRE NIGHT. I have a bit of a temper, so I get up and throw the plate of breakfast against the wall before storming out of the room..." — bettydrapers