This Is What Being A Single Girl Is Really Like

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CHOCOLATEIllustrated by Anna Sudit.
You've probably noticed by now that, in addition to being adorable, Zooey Deschanel is also really, really funny. So, it only makes sense that when she founded HelloGiggles, she enlisted the help of Sophia Rossi and Molly McAleer to create a hub for hilarity. Trust, the musings of HG — including this satirical one from one of their readers — will have you laughing out loud.

People imagine the life of a young single girl to be filled with nights out, shopping, and brunch dates with girlfriends — and it is. There’s a few things though, that the rest of the world doesn’t consider. I’m sure if they really bothered to ponder the possibilities, they’d come up with them on their own but who has time for that? I’m going to let you in on a few more activities that single girls get up to.

RELATED: Are You Guilty Of Any Of These Secret Single Behaviors?

Eat chocolate for dinner…or breakfast
It’s been scientifically proven that when a girl becomes single, her stomach changes its rules and will accept any food, any time. This goes into overdrive during the mourning period and she is able to scoff entire tubs of ice cream in one go. When things settle down emotionally, she’s still left with the ability to stomach chocolate at any time of the day or night.

Sparkle
I apologize for using such a girly word to describe the feeling but there really is nothing else that does it justice. I don’t know if it’s the polite smiles you get from random boys or the self assurance you feel when you realize you’re actually killing it on your own. Whatever the cause, there’s no denying you feel much more sparkly when single. If I reflect on my day-to-day life, I actually see a little montage in my head similar to the start of Clueless where Cher says “Okay so you’re probably going ‘Is this like, a Noxzema commercial, or what?’”
legsIllustrated by Anna Sudit.
Shave their legs less frequently
While single, I like to limit it to just once a week. Thank god for stockings! Every girl is different and timelines will vary but this is the reason I won’t be happy if a boy spontaneously hits me up to stay the night. You have to plan that stuff if you wanna make it on Legs Day.

RELATED: Why My Dating Advice Is To Not Follow Dating Advice

Re-evaluate
I certainly don’t believe a female should arrange her life goals around the person she is seeing. It just so happens that when a relationship ends, there’s usually a few goals left unreached that you were planning to achieve with your former partner. When that is no longer the case, it makes room for you to re-evaluate and come up with some goals to achieve on your own.
allow room for improvementIllustrated by Anna Sudit.
Allow room for improvement
As much as I don’t want to admit it, most single girls spend a tiny portion of their time thinking about the qualities they’d like in their next partner — or even if they’d like their next conquest to become a partner. It’s kind of along the same lines as iOS updates, “I think I’d like this year’s model to have a better sense of humor and an ability to cook.”
chipsIllustrated by Anna Sudit.
Dislike attention from passing cars
I don’t care what guys think, it’s not nice to have horns beeped or cat calls hurled your way while you’re exercising, or even just walking. I know it’s meant as a compliment, but unless you actually know the person or would like to abuse them, the horn is not necessary.

There’s a few more perks that I shan’t go into detail about such as not wearing pants, eating chips while watching TV, and sleeping in a shape similar to starfish. I guess you can pretty much bet money on the fact that if a single girl isn’t out being fabulous, she’s at home acting like a middle-aged man. Enticing, isn’t it?

You've probably noticed by now that, in addition to being adorable, Zooey Deschanel is also really, really funny. So, it only makes sense that when she founded HelloGiggles, she enlisted the help of Sophia Rossi and Molly McAleer to create a hub for hilarity.