Step 10: Spray hair with one can of Jerome Russell Field Line White temporary hairspray. Once you're finished with that color, we found we needed a little of the brand's Silver/Gray hue for a spritz of authenticity.

Be sure to wear something you could care less about (which is blasphemous to our character, sorry Karl!). Oh, and don't forget to put the remainder of The New York Times that you didn't get to (for us, sadly, everything but the Sunday Styles section!) on the floor below.