There's no avoiding it: The Swine Flu (capitalized, to indicate the gravity of the situation) is upon us. That wretched, slovenly virus has even crept up to the offices at 5 Times Square, a mere handshake, cough, and sneeze away from the Conde Nast buildings! But because we refuse to show up to our next fashion function in a full-on gas mask and surgical gloves, we've scoured the net for your next best options. From sequined jackets with face flaps to hospital-white hooded summer dresses, here's our round-up of your best bets for avoiding the flu in style. Spencer and Heidi, we hope you're reading this from your gauze-wearing hideouts in Mexico right now.
Above, from left: Hussein Chalayan keeps the germs out with a handy veil (spring '09 runway photo via Style.com), Louis Vuitton's sexy nurses show that being cleanly can be provocative (spring '08 runway photo via Style.com), Number (N)ine might just inspire you to take veiling down to the streets (fall '09 photo via Men's Style.com).
Sophie Hulme Sequin Jacket, $519, available at Pixie Market: The sequins have extra germ-deflecting power, and people will be too busy ogling the sparkles to notice that you look like a hypochondriac.
Unisex Mustache Mask, $14, available at American Apparel: Might as well be funny when death is around the corner from us.
Christian Bec Blue Leather Gloves, $170, available at Far Fetch: So you can grip subway poles fearlessly and stylishly.
Barker Black Scarf, $361, available at colette: Like the badass bandanas that the straightedge kids or aspiring James Deans used to tie around their necks—your friends will never guess you're secretly cowering in fear of the virus.
Complex Geometries Black Square Hood Tee, $120, available at Oak: There's only one real way to greet the Grim Reaper head-on if he so chooses to take you when the plague hits, and that's to be dressed like him.
PocketBac Deep Cleansing Hand Gel, $1.50, available at Bath&Body Works: We used to obsessively rub this on our hands in middle school to avoid boys' cooties, and now we can use it to avoid swine cooties.
Super Sheer Circle Scarf, $37, available at American Apparel: The sheer factor means that you can cover your entire face with it and retain the miraculous ability to see where you're going.
Complex Geometries White Square Hood Tank Dress, $158, available at Oak: Might not be protective enough for your nose/mouth, but could certainly disguise your identity if you don't want people to recognize you in your surgical mask.