Would the gorgeous, ageless, ineffable creature we call Tilda Swinton ever tweet? Fools! As instantly followable as its account would be, The Swinton does not concern herself with such lowly, mundane pursuits. Luckily, a reasonable, ridiculous approximation, @NotTildaSwinton, has been communicating the incommunicable essence of the actress/woodland demigod for two rapturous days now.

Since then, we've learned so much. What does NotTilda/Tilda have for breakfast? "Sunlight. Boring, I know, but such an old standby deserves respect." What is NotTilda/Tilda's favorite thing to wear? "A robe of live squirrels is finer than pearls." How does NotTilda/Tilda kick back after a long day of cycling through various "animal" forms? "I sit on my throne of bone and await the evening's offering. My bat servant, Theremiah, returns to roost." Wait. Are we sure this isn't the real Tilda? (@NotTildaSwinton)

Photo: via @NotTildaSwinton.

Heidi Klum constantly has us asking one burning question: Just how does one woman manage to have her hands in umpteen pots, and still look so damn striking while doing it all? (Not to mention finding the time to plan that crazy Halloween costume every year!?) Well, here's one more venture to add to her ever-growing list of projects — the L.A. mom of four (her family's lived here for six years now) is now giving great face for Clear Scalp & Hair Beauty Therapy, and had the chance to sit down and answer our age-old query!

So, tell us what your favorite thing is about this new product?
"I tried it and I really liked it. I liked how my hair felt, and I was sold! It really has a new and different approach than all the other shampoos and conditioners. It feeds the hair by treating the scalp in a straightforward method. I don’t think that any other product does that. That’s what intrigued me and got me involved. I definitely wanted to be a part of that."

We know you're naturally very blessed, but what’s your sneakiest beauty trick?
"I don’t really have any sneaky ones. I’ve been telling people about blotting paper because that’s something I love. Instead of staying dry by reapplying powder over powder and powder, you take the oil off. I think that’s a great trick that people forget about. I love the Clean & Clear Oil-Absorbing Sheets and Victoria’s Secret does a simple one. I don’t think you necessarily need to spend a crazy amount of money when it's basically just rice paper."

Okay, you always look so put together. Have you ever had a beauty disaster that you'd care to share?
"Probably over-bleaching — like when the person who was bleaching my hair didn’t pay attention or take enough time. She used too much peroxide and left it on too long. My hair broke, so I had a little pineapple on top of my hair for the longest time that was really difficult to get rid of. Basically, my hair really broke off, and I had two inches of hair in some places! That was hard because you have to constantly pat it and spray it down."

Who are your favorite L.A. beauty maestros?
"I would have to say the only one is Anastasia. I’ve known her since she started like 100 years ago. She was the person who made me grow my eyebrows back. When I first met her she told me, 'I cannot do anything. You have to grow, and then you can come back.' I think she gave me great shape again. When I started modeling, I was totally over-tweezed. I just had these thin little eyebrows. So, every once in awhile I go see her, and then I try to maintain the shape she gives me. I think she’s great!"

Are there any spas that you love in SoCal?
"I’ve never been to a spa."

How interesting! We'd think you'd be all over a relaxing getaway considering how much you do...
"I’ve had a few massages at my house, but I’m not really a spa person. I like getting my nails done, but I always have someone come to my house. I don’t like to go to those places where you put your hands and feet in a sink. I’m funny about that because I think you can catch so many things. Ha! Is it terrible that I feel that way? I feel guilty, too. I can’t tell my kids, 'Mommy’s going to the spa for the day. See you guys later.'"

Since you don't go the luxe-spa route, do you have any beauty indulgences?
"If I can sleep two hours longer than 6 a.m., that’s a beauty indulgence! Usually I get up at 6 a.m., so if I can sleep until 8 a.m., I feel amazing. And again, I feel a little guilty when I do."

As a working mom, what are your go-to products when you’re making a mad dash out the door?
"I just get dressed and sometimes I’ll put on a light foundation. I don't really 'dress-up' when I go anywhere. Maybe a little bit of eyebrow filler and mascara. But when the sun is on my skin, I want it to go directly on my skin, and not through all these layers of junk."

We loved your au naturale beauty look at the Met gala — is this your overall M.O. these days?
"Oh thank you! It was because of the highly designed dress and I had a lot of jewels. We make those decisions on the spot, and Linda and Michelle, whom I’ve been working with for many years, help me, too. It all depends on the dress. If it’s pretty simple, then I do a lot of eye makeup. Sometimes I even do a '60s eye, where I put on a lot of false eyelashes. But I think if you have a neck full of jewelry and a lot hair and makeup, that’s just too much."

Photo: Courtesy of Weber Shandwick

Ready for your close-up? Well, instead of waiting for your big break at places like BOA and Jones on Third, why not buy your way into the biz? (It's not like that would be a first!). Trust us, by no means are we encouraging you to hook up with a sugar daddy or hit the casting couch. It turns out movie mogul Harvey Weinstein has teamed up with the one and only Karl Lagerfeld for our idea of the dream gig. In essence, the duo will produce and direct (respectively) a short film starring the highest bidder, with proceeds going to the pair's latest charitable cause. Fingers crossed that the Kaiser is also playing costume designer!

The role of a lifetime will be on the auction block come Thursday at amfAR’s Cinema Against AIDS gala in Cannes. And, if you're feeling especially benevolent, Carine Roitfeld has curated an all-LBD runway show, complete with frocks from Alex Wang, Balenciaga, Chanel, and many (many) more. The best part: One lucky bidder will walk away with the entire loot. Sure, it's spendy, but just think how many red carpet looks you'll have banked for when you're an A-List celeb.

Our advice? Pool those waitressing tips or start power dog walking, then book it to France, because this could be your chance to make it big!

There are a few faces everyone expects to see in a Chanel lineup: Freja Beha Erichson, Baptiste Giabiconi, Kristen McMenamy…but Parick Dempsey?

We did a double take when we came across Look 4 in Chanel's recent cruise collection, and realized that it wasn't actually the Grey's Anatomy star, but rather, seasoned Chanel model Brad Kroenig (a.k.a., father of the littlest Chanel model ever).

With 13 years separating them, Brad Kroenig still has a ways to go before he's as salt-and-peppery as Patrick Dempsey is. But with the same second-day stubble, Adonis chin, and waves of glory, Brad is pretty much the spitting image of the actor, minus a decade. McDreamy, indeed.

Photo: Courtesy of Richard Foreman/ABC

Official designer to H.R.H. Queen Elizabeth II, Stewart Parvin has just let loose a deluge of his liege's peculiar style secrets to The Sunday Times. Some highlights: the Queen wears bold colors because of her small stature, she pads one shoulder more than the other due to a slight imbalance, and she never, ever sweats.

Most interesting of all, however, is the fact that QE2 has her own royal shoe wearer — a member of her house staff tasked with breaking in Her Majesty's kicks before they ever reach her feet. Says Parvin, "[The shoes] have to be immediately comfortable...she does get someone to wear them. The Queen can never say 'I'm uncomfortable, I can't walk any more.' She has the right to have someone wear them in [for her]."

Indeed, we would probably outsource our blisters to a willing professional, too (provided we could afford it). However, we have to ask — has Her Majesty never heard of Easy Spirit Pumps? (The Daily Mail)

Photo: via Wikipedia.

From guyliner to mantyhose (yes, those happened), we've seen many dude-centric trends come and go. But it seems like "manscaping" is one that may be sticking around. And Mansome, in theaters today, is a much-hyped flick that serves to uncover the very personal subject of male grooming…head to toe. Morgan Spurlock, who brought us the McDonald's disaster doc Super Size Me, turned his focus to a more humorous social debate this time 'round with the help of actors Will Arnett and Jason Batemen, both Mansome producers who also appear in the film.

Masculinity manifestations are aplenty these days, from grungey Jesus types to perfectly coiffed fellas. But, there seems to be a hairy situation lurking beneath the surface when it comes to less-discussed aspects of male grooming.

The CEO of Fresh Balls, a company that supplies an actual scrotum scent (really puts the "eau" in eau de toilette, eh?), is just one of the experts interviewed by Spurlock. The film spotlights an array of famous faces to discuss their primping practices, including Zach Galifianakis, the sharp-dressed men of ZZ Top (forgive us for being crass, but we wonder if the carpets match the overgrown drapes?), Anthrax's Scott Ian (known for his dramatic Shakespearean goatee), and John Waters.

The smooth experts at The Art of Shaving sponsored the premiere event in L.A. last week, encouraging the audience to come in and learn how to properly shave (without nicking your precious family jewels...meaning your face, people!). From mending a receding hairline to hair removal, this film certainly delves into the depths of the diverse manscape of America. Take a peek at the trailer here and, if you like what you see, plan your movie date accordingly.

Photo: Via Mansome/Facebook

Okay, we’re not going to lie: When we first read this, we thought someone was pulling a fast one on us. The Blossom heartthrob (he’ll never live that down), Joey Lawrence, is hitting the stage — and not quite in the way we’d expect. Let’s just say, this is a slightly more risqué, no-holds-barred performance. He's strapping on a bowtie, stripping down, and joining the Las Vegas Chippendales gang. And just after getting us all amped with that Old Navy Blossom reunion, too! Who knew this would be his next endeavor?

According to Chippendales, Lawrence will be completely nude — “the whole nine yards,” if you will. We honestly thought this was a prank, so we headed over to trusty IMDb to peep any new, potentially stripper-themed roles. Nope, nothing lined up. So, why is Joey baring it all? We’re still scratching our heads about this one. We think this warrants a resounding "Whoa," no? (Daily News)



Photo: Via Daily News

In her latest off-the-beaten-track role, Chloë Sevigny plays a pre-op transsexual contract assassin in new TV show Hit & Miss. And, while we all know she's used to getting into (strange) character, the Opening Ceremony designer may have underestimated the emotional toll of being a fake man. The usually fearless Sevigny says that she actually cried while putting on her prosthetic genitalia each day: "It was weird. I was lonely and I felt really unattractive. I was confused about my desirability — was I desirable? — in having put that on, and having men see me with that on." But, we're thinking that this mixed emotion might help her convey some of the incredibly complex emotions her killer character is going through. Or at least feel better in her own skin, off camera. What do you think? Do you feel for Chloë's struggle or think she should suck it up for the sake of the art? (Gawker)

Aside from Barbie, we're not sure if there's anyone has had more careers than Kanye West. A musician, a producer, a fashion designer, a fast-food chain owner, a philanthropist… and don't forget, a director as well.

At the Cannes Film Festival, Kanye West is debuting a film short titled "Cruel Summer," which is inspired by his G.O.O.D. Music album, also named Cruel Summer. The production will be "an immersive '7 Screen Experience'" (their capitalization, not ours) that will debut May 23. What that means? Probably fast cars, model ladies wearing the fall '12 Kanye West collection, a cameo by Aziz Ansari, and — if we're lucky — Kanye wearing a skirt. Already in Cannes, you lucky kids? Cop your own free ticket here.

It’s that time of year again — things are heating up in the South of France. The 65th Cannes Film Festival is in full swing, and the glitz is flooding in from all angles. We’re not going to lie: We’re probably just as excited to see what the stars are sporting on the red carpet as we are about the films. And, if day one is a prelude to the pretty ensembles we have yet to peep, then expect us to be glued to our screens for the next week, and a half!

There were a bevy of notable frocks from the kickoff, but one that really jumped out and made us do a double take: Diane Kruger’s lace-up Versus by Versace dress, which she donned to the fest's opening photocall. If you ask us, it was the perfect balance of experimental glam, but with a splash of subtle sex appeal. Can Diane Kruger ever do any wrong? We’re on the edges of our seats waiting to see the other 'fits that she, and so many of the other stylish attendees, are sure to make waves in, over the next few days — and be sure to check back with us for an in-depth roundup of Cannes' most captivating style snaps, very soon.

Photo: Anne-Christine Poujoulat/Getty Images

Last week, we were blown away by Adam Yauch's passing, and now we are truly saddened at the loss of another musical icon, Donna Summer. The diva (who practically invented the "D" word) lost her struggle to cancer this morning in Florida, leaving behind a rich legacy — we credit her with defining disco style, modern dance music, and what it means to be a fierce vocal performer. Donna, no one left your cake out in the rain, and you will live on in clubs, our iPods, and hearts for time immemorial. (TMZ)

Truth be told, it’s rare to find us actually shocked when Uncle Karl does or says something zany. It’s kind of regular practice now, no? Sure, we’ll raise an eyebrow here, or gasp a little there (whether he’s designing helicopters or spewing controversial convo) — but to make us stand up and say WTF? — well, that’s a whole different story. But, we’re going to hand it to the guy, this time we’re wowed.

The Chanel creative director, along with Snoop Dogg, made a star-studded appearance in a music video. All we can ask is... why? Apparently, French singer Jean-Roch rounded up both Karl and Snoop for a can’t-miss cameo in his video (Snoop actually waxes pretty poetic), “Saint Tropez.” And the Kaiser went for it.

But we're going to be straight with you: This is the best thing we’ve seen all week. It’s a bit of a mind warp to see the two totally different dudes in the same scene. Peep the awesome video (and mildly catchy song) above, and see for yourself. And then, to the comments with your thoughts. (Telegraph)

Video: Via YouTube