It seems like American Horror Story fans weren’t the only ones left reeling after last week’s “Return to Murder House” episode. AHS: Apocalypse came back this week with “Traitor” and it was noticeably less intense than its predecessor. Even the show needed to catch its breath. Episode 7 is seriously lacking in devil worship and juicy backstory. And despite bringing back a couple of key characters returning to New Orleans, Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) did not come back. At best, “Traitor” inches us closer to a resolution in the ongoing war between the witches and warlocks; and reveals the team that Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) has put together to stop the apocalypse. Plus there are no more dead animals since Michael (Cody Fern) isn’t in this episode. So here’s what does happen.
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Before she was a resurrected witch in post-apocalyptic Outpost 3, Dinah (Adina Porter) is the new queen of voodoo now that Marie Laveau has met her demise. In the suburbs of New Orleans, Dinah caters to wealthy white women who are willing to resort to witchcraft to make their problems go away. In the opening scenes, Dinah uses a voodoo doll to kill a cheating husband's mistress and then put a spell on him so that he’s only aroused by his wife. However, when Cordelia shows up asking for a meeting with the voodoo devil, Dinah jumps at the opportunity to make a few extra bucks.
She conjures Papa Legba (Lance Reddick) as requested and Cordelia has a plan. She wants Legba to open the gates of hell so that she can ultimately trap Michael in the underworld. I’m not sure why she thinks this will work. Doesn’t being the Antichrist come with in and out privileges in hell? Apparently it makes sense to Papa Legba, because he is willing to help Cordelia, but in exchange he wants the souls of all of her students. Cordelia turns the deal down.
Evie Gallant may be dead, but Bubbles McGee (also played by Joan Collins) is alive and kicking. What’s more: she’s a mind-reading witch. The veteran actress is filming a trashy Christmas slasher movie when she’s interrupted by Madison (Emma Roberts) because the impending doom being brought on by Michael requires all witchy hands on deck. If you were expecting a fruitful mentorship between these two, you thought wrong. Madison thinks Bubbles is a washed up relic from the past. Bubbles thinks Madison is talentless and entitled. Anyway, the two of them join Myrtle (Frances Conroy) for dinner where the older two witches talk about blow jobs. It’s Madison who has to keep them on task. Bubbles has a job to do: get into Ariel’s (Jon Jon Briones) mind and figure out what the warlocks are up to.
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Back at Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies, the young witches are making some discoveries about a few of their own. Coco (Leslie Grossman) has the gift of calorie counting. That’s not a joke. She can literally look at a food and tell the exact calorie count. Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe), Zoe (Taissa Farmiga), and Mallory (Billie Lourde) make a game of her skills until Coco chokes on a piece of cake and dies. Mallory literally opens her throat, takes out the piece of food that blocked her airway, and then brings the annoying fellow witch back to life. Now we know that Mallory has special powers, but none of the other witches have seen anything like this. While the witches have been rallying behind Cordelia as the only person strong enough to fight Michael, they are now beginning to see that Mallory is the next It Witch. Zoe actually thinks she could be the next Supreme.
Now back to Myrtle and Bubbles’ plan. Age has only made these two old friends wiser and at pre-apocalyptic Outpost 3, their plan goes off without a hitch. They prepare a feast for Ariel and Baldwin (BD Wong), the only remaining warlocks at the Outpost. (Michael is out in the wilderness because he needs to be alone.) A little wine loosens the men right up and Bubbles gets the info she needs: the warlocks helped kill John Henry (Cheyenne Jackson) and are definitely out for witch blood.
But this information doesn’t stop Cordelia and her loyalists from celebrating after Myrtle reports back. At Miss Robichaux’s, the witches gather for a meal of their own to celebrate Mallory’s hopeful rise to the post of Supreme. Behold Chablis (Billy Porter) — who has switched sides to join the witches — is too concerned about Michael to be cheerful. But Cordelia has prepared for this moment. The heads at the table are proof of this. She brought Myrtle back from the dead and her team is stronger than ever.
To put more of Mallory’s skills to the test, the coven travels to the spot of warlock John Henry’s death and bring him back from the dead giving her just his ashes to work with. But she nails it. John Henry is back and ready to spill the tea on who killed him. This is all the grounds that Cordelia needs to enact a plan of her own. She catches Ariel and Baldwin making a poisonous concoction. They are taken into magical council custody right alongside Miriam Meade (Kathy Bates) and sentenced to be burned alive for their part in a John Henry’s murder. Checkmate.
How I would have died in this episode: I would have gladly gone to hell with Papa Legba. He’s kind of sexy... and really tall. Don’t judge me.