What Disney Princesses Don't Teach You About Fashion

Perhaps you missed this — or perhaps you didn't — but the Disney movies that enriched our childhood were not always... accurate when it came to certain things. For example, relationships, gender roles, and how pumpkins work all seem to have been a little skewed after passing through the Disney filter. But, as fashion people, the way that clothes and fashion were depicted sort of ruined the real world for us.

Take Cinderella. Instead of placing a rush order for a Reformation dress, she turned to her live-in mice friends, some birds, and a bit of fairy dust to get her dressed for the ball. And let's be honest: Who out there can run around in a ball gown and not break a sweat IRL? Belle, that's who. (But she's not real.) In the spirit of some always-welcome nostalgia, we put together a slideshow of every time we realized that Disney had the whole fashion thing way off. Click through to relate on some pretty magical levels.
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If getting ready for anything went as smoothly (and swiftly) as this, we'd never have to worry about being "fashionably late" again.
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And when you do finally arrive, you definitely don't look like this.
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Who knew that a perfect bow could defy physics and stay upright all on its own?
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When your house mouse is your tailor (also, what happened to that loose end after they cut it?).
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Because off-the-shoulder gauze glistens like an inner tube, and floats inches off your shoulders, too.
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Getting ready for prom be like.
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Real-life bows are usually not bigger than your head, and that's a damn shame.
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Funny, because we don't see a case of sand-butt or crazy tan lines anywhere. But, okay.
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Ariel must have had perfect lighting at all times, because whose bridal tiara sparkles like that by itself?
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Ever wonder what goes on during fittings? This is not what we saw in Dior & I...
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When your skirt also doubles as a beanbag.
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Where are our princes who willingly rock waist belts, tight tanks, and split-neck tunic tops?
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We're pretty sure that our podiatrists would disapprove.
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No, this was not the inspiration behind the finale of Alexander McQueen's spring/summer 1999 runway show. (Or was it?)
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The amount of coordination it takes to dance without stepping on your dress, gaze into your parner's eyes, hold onto his hand, and not mess it all up — that's something you could only find in movies.
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When bae shows up in a cape and knee boots, and all you can do is blush.
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Alice might be the only Disney princess who can play in the dirt in white tights and not stain them.
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Oh, you know, just casually running through a dark forest with one (glass) shoe on, talking to mice, and doing it all with a smile.
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Because ripping a seam means getting a perfectly straight split every time.
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When you take "one thing off before you leave the house," but your BFF puts it back on.
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Using your hair to create your own runway.
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Ugh, hate when this happens.
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When it's the middle of winter and your fur-lined infinity shawl is all the warmth you need.
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Ever tried wearing a headband like that and have it stay on? Yeah —lies, Disney.
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"Sure, babe."
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What, you don't go swimming in a leather dress?
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When someone figures out how a dress with that micro a hemline manages to always keep you covered, let us know. Mama wants a new freakum dress.
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And for all you waist trainers out there...
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Catching cricket friends with your sleeves is not only feasible, but you'll fool everyone.
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This one, though. Accurate.
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