11 People Share The Strangest Thing They've Been Told During Sex

Photographed by Lula Hyers.
Unless you talk it out beforehand (which we'd recommend), it's hard to predict what will come out of your partner's mouth during sex. For every dirty talk pro out there, there's someone who searches for the perfect steamy comment only to put their foot squarely in their mouth. Hey, these things aren't one-size-fits-all.
And since many of us let our guards down while we have sex, that can lead to some, shall we say, candid moments and remarks. Of course, some comments (a cheesy joke) are easier to laugh off than others (a partner making an intentional dig at you while doing the deed). How you respond in the moment is up to you, but there's no rule against telling your friends (or the internet) what went down afterward (with discretion, of course).
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Ahead, we've rounded up some of the most cringe-worthy things people on Reddit have said or been told during sex.* Share your own stories in the comments — if you can bear the awkwardness.
*Just to be clear: We don't judge what people consensually do or say in their sex lives — these are just things that the posters themselves deemed no-nos.
1 of 11

You have the eyes of the devil.

"You have the eyes of the devil."

-Reddit user Heyokame
2 of 11

Stop sweating on me.

"Stop sweating on me."

-Reddit user stationcommando
3 of 11

My vagina was too 'shallow.'

"A guy blamed me for his inability to keep an erection because my vagina was too 'shallow.' I obsessed about my shallow vagina for months afterwards, convinced that I was deformed."

-Reddit user monkeytoes77
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4 of 11

I kill people!

"I was cumming and yelled, 'I kill people!'

"She got confused and stared at me really wide-eyed."

-Reddit user Ugly_Muse
5 of 11

My roots needed a touch-up.

"My ex had a vantage point to notice that my roots needed a touch-up — and decided it'd be a good time to verbalize that observation."

-Reddit user _dilligaf_
6 of 11

I can't get it up with a condom.

"I can't get it up with a condom. Let's do it without. I promise I'm clean."

-Reddit user melesana
7 of 11

You drink too much soda.

"Right after she swallowed my cum, [she said,] 'You drink too much soda,' straight-faced. I was kind of offended."

-Reddit user DouG-DreAleR
8 of 11

Call me Daddy.

"'Call me Daddy.'

"Such a ladyboner killer. You just don't even know."

-Reddit user askingxalice
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9 of 11

I love you more than cooked food!

"I exclaimed, 'I love you more than cooked food!' as I was near climax.

"She paused for a small moment and peered at me. Then all resumed and we never spoke of it again."

-Reddit user McBurger
10 of 11

I fell asleep there for a bit.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I fell asleep there for a bit."

-Reddit user UsernamIsToo
11 of 11

Bark like a dog.

"'Bark like a dog. Bark like a fucking dog.'

"Um...no."

-Reddit user schtroumpfette
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