How To Have Airplane Sex, According To People Who Have Done It

Photo: Getty Images.
Airplanes can be comically unsexy. The air pressure in the cabin dries out your skin to an uncomfortable degree. There's no leg room, even when you pay for more of it. For some reason, it smells like stale chemicals. The slightest turbulence can make some people fear for their lives. And to top it all off, you're merely an armrest away from other strangers and small children. These aren't ideal conditions for having sex, although plenty of people in the "mile high club" claim they've done it.
Indeed, some people find that airplane sex is hot because of the anonymity, close quarters, and finite time you have to pull it off. Lots of celebrities — including Kim Kardashian West and Chrissy Teigen — say they've had airplane sex before, but chances are they were not flying coach like mere mortals. If you try to imagine how you'd have airplane sex on a commercial flight, the obvious way would be to go to the bathroom. After all, an airplane is a public place and no one should have to witness people having sex, so usually the lavatory is your only option.
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If you and bae have travel plans over the holidays and are curious about fitting plane sex in your itinerary, ahead we found stories, tips, and words of caution from flight attendants and real people on Reddit who claim they've done it. Make sure your seatbelt is securely fastened because it's a bit of a wild ride.
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never use a blanket that didn't come packaged.

"My old airline was a Delta Connection and we only had Dash-8 planes, so I was the only flight attendant on board. One flight while I was picking up trash, I saw two gentlemen jerking each other off under one of [the] blankets that we provide on the plane for everyone to use. I didn't say anything because the flight wasn't full and they weren't being obnoxious. At the end of the flight, I see them fold up that same blanket and as they went to put it back in the overhead bin. I hollered out, 'Nope! That blanket is yours now! We don't want it.' Needless to say they hurried off the plane when we landed.

Also never use a blanket that didn't come packaged."

Samijowaslike via Reddit
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the lavs in the back of the plane aren't very soundproof

"I just want to let everyone know that the lavs in the back of the plane aren't very soundproof. So if you're planning on joining mile high, keep that in mind! The people in those seats can hear just about everything."

Deleted via Reddit
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if you want to go have sex in the lav, then have at it.

"It was almost always on red eyes or overnights to Europe. We had one on a flight to Rome that was rather interesting. The couple didn't know each other at the start of the flight and, despite being on opposite ends of business class, somehow found a way to be in the same seat mid-flight. They decided to go at it sans-blanket, at which point we had to ask them to separate for the rest of the flight.

On a different flight, I had a couple ask if they could stand in the galley for a few minutes to stretch their legs. They were very polite, and I said sure and went back to reading my book. I made it halfway down the page when I heard her moaning. I turned and looked, and the guy had her pinned up against my coffee makers with his hand up her shirt. I promptly told them to remove themselves from the galley and either finish up in the lav, or head back to their seats and keep their hands to themselves. If I can't get it on in my galley, no one can get it on in my galley.

My whole take on it is, as long as you aren't doing it in public, you're being quiet about it, and you haven't been acting suspicious the entire flight, if you want to go have sex in the lav, then have at it. It's certainly not high on the list of places I'd want to have sex, especially given that the lav is cramped, smelly, and the liquid on the floor isn't water... But to each their own."

ShinyCupcake via Reddit
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everyone on the plane give them a round of applause.

"On a flight to Switzerland a couple of years ago, there was a couple who 'mile-high clubbed' a couple of times over the course of the flight. The final time was right before breakfast was being served, and the flight attendant had everyone on the plane give them a round of applause for being the most consistent passengers she had ever seen."

Deleted via Reddit
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every bathroom on every airliner can be opened from the outside.

"Everyone should know that every bathroom on every airliner can be opened from the outside, even when locked from the inside. Most passengers wouldn't know how, but believe me every crew member does."

drrhythm2 via Reddit
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a fellow flight attendant encountered an attempt in the first class bathroom.

"Former flight attendant here: On a flight a fellow flight attendant encountered an attempt in the first class bathroom, and before realizing she just said, 'Sorry, one person in the washroom at a time.' They just shrugged and went back to their seats and the man just said, 'Oh well, we had last time.'

A different flight attendant once discovered two people in the act, gave them a slight scare, then her and the in-charge gave them a bit of a private congratulations afterwards."

ironmaven via Reddit
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We made out a little bit but it was intensely uncomfortable.

"On a long flight one time, I was with a bunch of other students, and me and this girl that I had been kind of hooking up with decided to test the feasibility of the mile high club. I went into the bathroom first and kind of hung out there, and she came in a few minutes later, so it didn't look suspicious. We made out a little bit but it was intensely uncomfortable. There is just no place big enough for two people. The only thing that worked remotely well was her sitting on the side of the sink with legs wrapped around me, and even then there was almost no room and the sink was jabbing her in the back. So we came to the conclusion that sex in the bathroom would be much more trouble than it was worth."

bechus via Reddit
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Covered in thousands of germs.

"If you can maneuver well enough to have a sexually pleasing performance in an aircraft lavatory that's covered in thousands of germs, go for it."

Muuviestar via Reddit
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The Captain said if you make a mess you gotta clean it up.

"Back when my wife and I were heading out on our honeymoon, we were doing the typical wait in the airport for the flight. It was a late night flight on a small plane out of a regional airport, so there was only going to be four of us on the plane total. My wife was wearing her veil so it was pretty obvious we were on a honeymoon.

As we were headed out to board, the Captain was in the cabin and he said hey, and then asked if we had gotten a limo for the wedding. We told him no and then he replied, 'Well, this will be your limo, the other two people missed the flight so it's just the two of you.' We headed to the exit row seats since they were open, and as the flight attendant was doing a special pre-flight cabin service for us and she asked if we wanted any drinks, on the house from the Captain.

We both ordered drinks and when she brought them back she also brought a few extra blankets and said, 'The Captain said if you make a mess you gotta clean it up.' She handed us the drinks and blankets and headed to her seat. They turned off all the cabin lights (the flight attendant left her reading light on) and we started on our way. We had sex, on a plane, and not crammed into a bathroom. Best Flight Ever."

my-rexatemyplatypus via Reddit
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the height of the fold down table was perfect.

"In the bathroom, a changing table folds down over the toilet. It was the right height for my girl to sit on and face me. She put her feet against the wall and fun ensued. It wasn't bad because the height of the fold down table was perfect."

dnifdoog via Reddit
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While emptying the trash I found numerous used condoms.

"I used to work for United Airlines and US Airways express, cleaning the planes after arrival and getting them ready for departure the next day. While emptying the trash I found numerous used condoms, not sure if it was from solo or a couple."

jollythan via Reddit
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We tried to be quiet as we could be, and were pretty quick.

"GF and I planned it out in advance, and staggered sneaking into the lav at the first possible opportunity. We tried to be quiet as we could be, and were pretty quick.

Still, when I cracked open the door there was a flight attendant right outside, who politely asked me to take my seat. I closed the door behind me but there was no way she didn't know my GF was still in there. GF waited a minute or so and then guiltily came out too, FA just asked her to take her seat and then it was like nothing happened.

I want to believe that she was actually kinda amused, and since we didn't get in any trouble GF and I felt like we had pulled off the perfect crime. We were giggling about it the whole rest of the flight."

estereo_type via Reddit
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appearance by Laura Delarato.
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