Chanelements: Lagerfeld Solves the Housing Crisis

karlhomeImage from the motion picture Lagerfeld Confidential directed by Rodolphe Marconi.
Where better to kick up your Chanel-clad tootsies, rest your $18,000 Chanel fishing rod, and park your $12,000 Chanel bicycle than—your very own Chanel house? Yes, that's right: On Dubai's Isla Moda ("Fashion Island" to you hoi palloi), Karl Lagerfeld is set to outdo himself again, designing 80 "limited edition" homes, each Chaneled to the hilt.

And what's the price of these U.A.E. pied a terres? Really? You have to ask? How adorable. Look, if you're a little light in the pocketbook—and what Russian petrol oligarch isn't these days—you can still get a taste of life at Chez Chanel. Isla Moda will include a 250-room hotel and serviced apartments for the merely rich. With Lagerfeld's move into housing, it's the dawning of a new era of complete lifestyle packaging—a black-quilted, double-C-studded future where dogs bark "Karl!," white-haired Chanelephants run free, all food is made from "Coco," and everyone speaks a newly-coined Chanenglish. Oh what a Chanelegant world it will be.