Boxed Lunch: Avast, Links Ho, Ye Landlubbers!

lunchlinks0919 In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, we've tapped our resident linguistics expert, Professor Matthew the Bloody Phd., for accurate English-to-Pirate translations.
Peter Dundas takes the helm at Pucci, dresses like me cabin boy. Yar. (Pictured, NYMag)
Did yon Ashley Olsen make her her hellcat sister, Mary-Kate, walk the plank? Me sees no sharks in the water. (Gawker)
Arrgh. The bloody antipods down in the Kiwi Islands be sendin' some mixed messages. (JC Report)
Me favorite wench, Kate Moss, had a bit too much of the ol' grog. (Metro UK)
Compost be the hotness. Arr. (Racked)
Comely lass Emma Watson sails fashion forward. Trim the missen-mast! (Moldova.org)
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These shoes be as nubby and rough as me unswabbed decks. (We Are the Market)
Colonial lads have no humor for flights o' fashion. (The Big Money)
That sea harpy Naomi Campbell picks 'erself a fist mate. (Vogue UK)
Huntress of the seven oceans, Sarah of Alsakie, starts a trend for the painted lips. (Huffington Post)
Scalawags Simon Doonan and and Jonathan Adler marry on the Barbary Coast. Huzzah! (Racked)