7 Cruises for People Who Hate Cruises

There are two types of people out there: cruise lovers and cruise haters. While some people may be okay with enduring cramped sleeping quarters, crowded lines for on-board amenities, and glasses of corked wine and plates of buffet-style slop that's been sitting out for too long in the salty sea air… I'm not one of them.

I was scarred as a child from cruises with my family. My first ended with me desperately attempting to straighten the crimping from my beaded braids before returning to third grade and trying to forget the nightmare of being holed up in a cabin with no windows and my gaseous, gambling-addicted grandma.

Consequently, I became a non-cruiser and have since avoided cruise ships like a liar avoids eye contact. I've held fast to that identification, until recently, when I heard about some new expeditions that sound rather tempting. River cruises that make frequent stops at German vineyards? A luxury Amazon River cruise set on feeding guests uncommon adventures and a five-star Peruvian chef-driven menu? Yes, please!

I'm not fully converted yet, but these seven itineraries are making me want to test out my sea legs again. Note: They're not cheap, but if you're looking for a trip where everything is taken care of and your only job is to relax, these are a world away from my grandmother's cruises.