The Beauty Rituals We Should Love, But Actually Kind Of Hate

ILLUSTRATED BY MALLORY HEYER.
There are a lot of things in life that we know we're supposed to love, but secretly cannot stand. Ten-course tasting menus, extra-long foreplay, guided art tours. We know, we know. We should be excited. But can’t we just get on with the damn thing?

Ahead, we're confessing the beauty treatments that are heralded as some of the best, most relaxing experiences in the business — only they actually make us feel like we’re dying inside. We think you might share some of our gripes. (Seriously, why do blowouts have to take so damn long?!) Check ‘em out in the slides ahead and share your own in the comments, below.
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ILLUSTRATED BY MALLORY HEYER.
"I know some people see manicures as a relaxing experience, but to me, they're borderline clinical and something I do only because I feel like I need to. (Kind of like a bikini wax.) The entire time I'm sitting there, I'm so fidgety and frustrated staring down at a phone or magazine page I cannot turn or swipe because my hands are trapped by the claws of the technician. I hate sitting under dryers so much, sometimes, I just leave and take a long walk without touching anything." — Cat Quinn, beauty director
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ILLUSTRATED BY MALLORY HEYER.
"I know everyone loves getting a gift card to a spa and treating themselves to a relaxing massage — my aunt even has a standing appointment weekly. But I'd rather pass. Granted, they're really relaxing, but there's just something I don't love about my non-S.O. rubbing me down with oil. Plus, I have the most uncomfortable, chronic back pain, so I'd always prefer someone to crack my aches and pop on an Icy Hot medicated patch than lather me up for an hour to only temporary relieve some minor pains." — Sam Sasso, beauty editorial assistant
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ILLUSTRATED BY MALLORY HEYER.
"Blowouts — what's the point? Schlep all the way to a salon just to have someone blowdry and curl my hair? No, thanks. When I landed my first job in the beauty industry, I eagerly hopped over to a salon to get a blowout only to realize that it's a giant time-suck. All power to you if you love them, but personally, it just doesn't fit my lifestyle or even the style of hair I want (textured, messy, a bit of reckless abandon thrown in). When someone asks me if I wanna get a blowout with them, I always respond: 'Eh, wanna get food, instead?'" — Mi-Anne Chan, beauty writer
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ILLUSTRATED BY MALLORY HEYER.
"I know I'm nuts, but I absolutely HATE pedicures. I hate people touching my feet. I hate having to explain the callouses I have left over from my ballerina days. And I hate sitting down and realizing I've forgotten to shave my legs. But most of all, I can never relax. I have these sensitive feet that twitch and jump every time they use the pumice stone — so much so that I almost kicked a pedicure technician in the face. I'd much rather paint my toes alone in my apartment with a glass of wine any day of the week." — Maria Del Russo, beauty editor
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ILLUSTRATED BY MALLORY HEYER.
"I've turned down every opportunity for a massage that has ever come my way, because I just hate the thought of a stranger running their hands all over my naked body with oil. It's too personal, weird, and it makes me anxious just thinking about it. I'd have to make sure I shaved everything, didn't have a pimple on my butt, and so on...then, I'd have to put my clothes back on over my oily body and ride the train home with my messy hair and makeup. It's my nightmare." — Alix Tunell, senior beauty editor
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ILLUSTRATED BY MALLORY HEYER.
"Every time I stay in a nice hotel (so, not very often), I build up this fantasy that I’m going to run some hot water, grab a Lush product and a good book, and take a nice long bath. And yet, the couple of times I have taken myself up on this dream, I realize I actually hate baths. Within five minutes, I loathe how sweaty and pruney I am and end up transitioning into a cold shower in the attempt to bring my body temperature down." — Caitlin Dorman, beauty content intern
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