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This Is Not Your Everyday Love Advice

No matter how many romantic comedies we watch, advice columns we read, or love songs we listen to, the truth is that there’s no perfect way to navigate a relationship. And, though it’s scary to admit, we’re all going at it a bit blind. Whether you’ve got a steady S.O., are in the midst of an emotionally exhausting “Where is this going?” talk, or are exploring love of the non-romantic sort, it’s only natural to wish for a guide.

So, in our final installment of Beauty Nation’s The New Provocateurs, we teamed up with Revlon to hear from seven leaders who've made it their professions to learn about, and guide others through, the ins and outs of love, relationships, and sex. If you want the lowdown on how a matchmaker can be more modern than a Tinder swipe, or why breaking off an engagement is sometimes the best idea, read on, and meet the daring women who’ve chosen to wear their hearts on their sleeves as their jobs. All the tough love you ever wanted, straight ahead.

The Love Coach: Lindsay Chrisler

refinery_revlon_100214_6088Photographed by Ben Ritter.


Don’t be fooled by Lindsay Chrisler’s youthful spirit — if her testimonials are any indication, this couples therapist and love coach is wise beyond her years. Maybe it’s her non-judgmental honesty or her affable approach to the heavy subject of love, but one thing’s for sure: Chrisler’s magic is working, making her one of the most in-demand and highly ranked therapists in New York City. For single folks, she miraculously pulls the confidence out of hopefuls and encourages them to open up to finding love. For couples working through pain points, Chrisler is there to help guide them to a stronger foundation. If you’re asking yourself what makes her so good, it’s that Lindsay Chrisler has been on the other side of the table, too: She received love coaching herself.

Before starting her business five years ago, Chrisler sought out a professional to help her feel more empowered when it came to relationships, which led to her decision to break off her engagement. After seeing how love therapy transformed her own life, Chrisler began devoting her natural aptitudes and expertise to helping others achieve love, balance, and happiness as well. Put us in, Coach Chrisler, we’re ready.

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refinery_revlon_100214_6045Photographed by Ben Ritter.

My “no turning back” moment
“The biggest risk I ever took was breaking off my engagement. It just didn’t feel right. Everyone wants a relationship coach who follows her own heart and doesn’t do something just to check off a box. Now, I’m dating again, and I love it. I’m not comfortable all the time, but I enjoy it now that I’m feeling clear on what it is that I want.”

How I overcame my biggest fear
“When it came to dating, I was totally uncomfortable: I always felt like I needed alcohol, I was afraid of sex, I felt insecure about how much experience I had, and I had body-image issues. I felt gross and frustrated. But, I knew that I needed to change [something] because I wanted companionship. I read books, took classes, received coaching myself, and learned a lot. It really worked. I didn’t have to lose 10 pounds — I just had to like myself a little more. I became a [dating] coach for a living because [what I learned] is helpful and does work.”

Fix it if it’s broken
“Admit [when something is] not working in your relationship. There’s this fear that if we admit we’re not happy, we should feel ashamed. But, it’s actually really brave to admit it. Then, take the time to discover what it is that you really want — and go after it.”
Superwoman


My best dating advice
“This is going to sound so California, but the best advice someone gave me was to learn how to feel what is going on in my body. There were men that I thought I would be super turned on by, but I didn’t actually feel that much when I [listened to my body]. Then, there were men I wouldn’t have chosen if I were passing them on the street, but once I talked to them and got to that emotional and intellectual connection, my whole body lit up. What are you actually feeling? Knowing what you’re feeling, and being able to speak to that, creates intimacy.”

Seek wisdom beyond your circle
“Our friends give us supportive advice, but they tend to be similar to us — they have similar blind spots with relationships. I love my friends, but there’s something about [talking to] an unbiased person that you don’t have a history with that can give you a really truthful reflection.”

What love means to me
“My personal definition of love is feeling connected to yourself and also feeling connected to the world. I think it’s this process or experience of really enjoying yourself. Let other people be a part of your world, and let yourself become a part of theirs.”

refinery_revlon_100214_6156Photographed by Ben Ritter.
Revlon_Feature7_GetTheLook_LINDSAY CHRISLER
Catherine Malandrino dress, Charlotte Olympia heels, Aesa pearl earrings, model's own bracelets and rings.

Photographed by Ben Ritter; Styled by Sasha Kelly; Makeup by Ashleigh Ciucci; Hair by Adam Maclay.
The Love Conductor: Erika Christensen
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