Please Don't Invite Me To Your Terrible Wedding

Illustrated by Abbie Winters.
There are two types of weddings: the ones you’re thrilled to attend, and the ones you’re...not. We’ve all received invites to weddings we’d rather skip. Your fingers tremble as you pull the invitation out of the envelope, and you pray that it's something — anything — else. There, in fancy gold lettering, is the confirmation of your dark fate: You’ve been summoned to the wedding of a distant relative, an annoying acquaintance, or (gulp) your boss. How do you get out of committing to a terrible commitment ceremony?

This is a dilemma I know all too well, which is why I’ve come up with a list of hypothetical dreaded weddings (dreaddings?), along with tips for getting out of going to them. Yes, it will require some resourceful excuse-making, but it is possible to turn impending nuptials into NOPEtials. Read on for the eight absolute worst wedding invites — and how to say, “I don’t.”