It feels good to be on top — of your career, your to-do list, and, of course, your partner during sex. Being on top during sex, otherwise known as cowgirl or cowboy position, allows you to control the depth of penetration and the pace, while also keeping eye contact with your partner. It's a classic position that creates an ultimate pairing: intimacy and eroticism.
But just like
missionary position, there's more than one way to do this classic pose. First things first: It's not just a position for straight couples. Thanks to the miracle of strap-ons, two partners with vaginas can try it, and anyone with an anus can enjoy riding on top. And the variations of this position for both straight and same-sex couples can be just as fun (if not more fun) than the original. Ahead, some great ways to mix up cowgirl/cowboy position.
Sidesaddle This position works best sitting on the edge of a couch or armchair. Ride your partner sidesaddle by sitting on their lap and facing sideways, rather than forward. If your legs touch the floor and you're being penetrated, you can use them to move yourself up and down.
Cowgirl In Control We all know the original cowgirl is the go-to on-top position. To achieve this variation on it, you just have to tie up the arms of the person on the bottom so that they can’t move (with their consent, of course). This gives whoever's on top even more control.
Face Sitting Who says you need penetration to be on top? In this oral sex version of cowgirl/cowboy, you plop down right on your lover’s face so that they can use their tongue to pleasure you. If you harbor insecurities about having your genitals directly on your partner's face (and any odor that may get up their nose), just know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way your genitals look or smell. Not to mention, your signature scent is likely a turn on for your partner.
The Spin (paravrittaka) In this Kama Sutra-approved position , you and your partner get to experience both the intimate eye contact and the easy make-out access of regular cowgirl/cowboy, and the tantalizing tease of the reverse version. To try out the spin, start in reverse cowgirl/cowboy pose, with the penetrating partner sitting up and their legs sticking straight out. When you're ready to switch it up, the partner on top slowly rotates an entire 180 degrees until they're facing the partner — ideally, without interrupting penetration. Sound difficult? Half the fun is practicing.
Reverse Cowgirl/Cowboy In the reverse take on the classic, the receiving partner faces away from the person lying down. This one is super hot because you can’t see your partner, which adds an element of intrigue. If you're on top, feel free to turn your head and make eye contact with your partner when things really begin to heat up. An added bonus for the partner providing penetration? They get a lovely look at their lover's butt.
Mare (Vadavaka) This one comes straight from the
Kama Sutra. In this variation, no kissing or embracing is allowed. While that may come off as harsh, removing kissing and embracing from the equation allows both the giving and receiving partner to focus on the delightful sensations taking place in their genitals. While in this position, use the tantric sex trick of visualizing breathing into your genitals through steady, deep breaths. With all the focus on what's going on below the belt, orgasms are likely to abound. But if you have a vagina and need a little help getting there, feel free to use your hand to rub your clit for added stimulation.
Seated Chair Chair sex, in general, is a wonderful way to switch things up, because you can stay supported and avoid dealing with the exhaustion that often comes with standing sex positions. In seated chair pose, the person on top gently lowers themselves onto the seated partner's penis or strap-on. Since the receiving partner's feet are placed on a hard floor rather than a soft mattress, they'll have even better leg support when gliding up and down on their partner.
One-Legged Froggy In the traditional version of "froggy style," the partner on top squats on top of their lover's penis or strap-on, rather than kneeling, thus bouncing up and down like a leaping frog (it's sexier than it sounds). In the one-legged version, which may require some stretching before trying, the parter on top extends one leg back to create space for them or their partner to manually stimulate the clitoris (for those with vaginas). If one-legged froggy is too challenging, try regular froggy first.
Reverse Froggy Style Like Froggy Style, you’re also squatting rather than using the bed for support, but facing the opposite direction. Use your legs to pump yourself up and down.