Anyone on that
long-distance relationship grind deserves a standing ovation. Not only are you committing to putting in that extra effort every day, you’re also steeling yourself for months or even years without IRL sex. Of course, sex is not required for a strong and healthy relationship, but if you’re going from 100 to zero in the bedroom department, you’re bound to feel its absence. Luckily, now more than ever, couples can live far away from each other and still have a fulfilling sex life — it just involves getting creative, thinking outside of the box, and, most importantly, utilizing the magic of the internet.
While there are still a few offline ways to spice things up (we’ll get to those in a moment), the easiest long-distance sex hacks are just a matter of staying plugged in. If you’re a tech addict, a toy-user, a writer, a gamer, or more, you can make things just as sexy as they’d be were your partner by your side — if not more so.
So, if you’re currently in a monogamous LDR or about to embark on one, you can relax. You’re not about to enter some torturous dry spell. In fact, even if you share a bed with your partner every night, these ideas might make you consider a solo vacation just to give them a go. They’re that good.
Make a replica of your genitals.
There’s no other way to put this: You can literally clone your partner’s genitals. Or give them a replica of your own! Create
using an easy-to-use at-home kit, some even coming with a vibrating unit as an added bonus. Tuck this in your partner’s suitcase as a parting gift, or request one when you’re craving something familiar.
Use a remote-controlled vibrator.
There’s a remote-controlled vibrator for all your long-distance needs. If your partner has a penis, this remote-controlled masturbation sleeve, called
, lets you work your magic from far away. There are also some remote-controlled vibes for people with vaginas (
) and those who enjoy anal stimulation (
). Heterosexual couples or couples who usually participate in penis-and-vagina sex can even
sync up their toys
so they interact with each other.
Download the right apps.
Long-distance relationships? As always, there’s an app for that. In fact, there are several, but when it comes to sex, Kik, Whatsapp, and Snapchat are great tools for keeping your sexts separate and (relatively) secure. If you’re not ready to jump right into explicit sexual messaging, use
to buy each other a drink first.
Give each other sex tasks. While masturbation is a go-to solution when you’re feeling lonely, there’s no reason you should be the only one involved. Giving each other sex tasks (like masturbating at specific times or using a new toy) means you’re always there in spirit, and it adds a little thrill to the day when you know your partner is miles away thinking about you.
Give your all to sexting.
From bed, from the bus, even from work, sexting is the most accessible and discreet way of keeping things hot with your partner. Whether you’re committing to full-on back-and-forths or just a few saucy messages throughout the day, sexts are a great tool for any LDR’s arsenal — head
if you need some tips!
Play games. Even Words With Friends can be sexy as long as you set the right rules. Do certain letters mean you have to take off certain clothes? Are there rewards for numbers of points? Now apply this to multi-player video games, or apps, or literally anything that the two of you can participate in, and you’ll find the competition has a whole new meaning.
Pick up the phone.
Think of phone sex as the LDR equivalent of wearing a blindfold. It’s all about the suspense, the timing, and the heightened senses. Use it to your advantage, and click
Write erotica for each other.
If talking dirty or sending pictures isn’t really your jam, then it’s time to flex your writing chops with some
. Write yourself and your partner into different scenarios and use the power of language to appeal to all their senses. Send it through snail mail or pop it in an email — just be sure to warn them it’s NSFW!
Try Skype sex. It’s an LDR staple for a reason. Skype (or any video chat) sex is the closest you can get to seeing your partner in the flesh, and getting comfortable exploring yourselves in front of each other is a whole different kind of hot.
Make a sex bucket list. A big thrill of long-distance relationships is counting down until the two of you get to be in the same place again. Use this as an opportunity for some strategic planning (the sexy kind, of course). What do you want to do when you next see each other? What are some positions or techniques you’ve always wanted to try? Make a bucket list you can use to comfort yourself when the distance is hitting you hard.
Watch the same porn. Something as simple as watching the same porn video can help foster intimacy. Knowing your partner sees what you’re seeing is a major turn on, and if you combine it with phone or video chat, the experience becomes even more intense.
Try a kissing simulator.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and while
this kissing simulator
, dubbed the Kissenger, feels like it’s out of a sci-fi novel, it could be the solution to your frustration. Plug the devices into your phones and feel the pressure of each other’s lips through the technology of silicon. Unfortunately, no tongues allowed.
Tease each other with bets. For LDR couples who semi-regularly see each other, making bets and teasing heats things up to the max before the big day. Try betting the other can’t abstain from masturbating for the week, or tease them with pictures that don’t give it all away. Even if you lose, you still kind of win.
Send voice clips throughout the day. If a text just isn’t good enough, surprise your partner with a quick audio message. Let them know what you want to do to them, or what you’re doing to yourself. On iPhone, audio messages can be temporary, meaning one listen and it’s gone, leaving your partner thinking about it all day.
Experiment with erotic hypnosis.
Yes, it’s possible to have an orgasm without being touched, which is music to the ears of couples far away from each other. Through erotic hypnosis, people have claimed they reached climax just by thinking. Normally, this is through
videos on YouTube
paid audio files
, but after doing some research, why not try hypnotizing your partner yourself?
Send short videos. If your Skype or FaceTime schedules just don’t line up, that doesn’t mean you can’t experience the benefit of video. Rather than traditional Skype sex, send a video of you solo. Then let them return the favor.
Wear a heartbeat ring.
One of the biggest signs that you’re turning on your partner is an increase in their heart rate. While you may not be able to feel it pounding in their chest, you can feel it in
. Of course, you can wear the ring all day as a romantic gesture, but be sure to take note of the changes the moment you two decide to talk dirty.
Make a sex itinerary for your next trip.
Khloé Kardashian is in an LDR right now, and she
shared her best tips for making it work
on her app, one of which includes dropping hints about something you want to try the next time you're in a bedroom together. While you're planning your next visit to see your partner,
literally schedule sex
and include something new and specific that you've been dying to try together. That way, you both have something extra to look forward to during the trip.
According to Khloé
, "Teasing is good and healthy when you're long distance!"
Send your partner a "self-care" package.
Shipping a care package is a classic PG way to keep in touch with a long-distance pal or partner. But instead of stuffing this package with candies and thoughtful notes,
send your partner a new sex toy
and some lube so they know you're thinking of them.
Time your sexts. If you and bae are stuck in different time zones, send them a surprise sext or sexy photo so they can enjoy it first thing in the morning. How do you do that? If you usually wake up before them, send a photo in the morning when you wake up. Or if you tend to go to bed later, send it at night so they wake up to it. Figure out something that works for your time zones, be strategic, and think ahead.
Do some research.
Bae just moved to a brand new city? Get on Yelp and do some sleuthing to figure out where the
best sex shops are in the area
. Then, if you want to go the extra mile, buy them a gift card to the store so they can explore — so long as they report back their findings.