Why There's No Such Thing As A "Boring" Horoscope

Photographed by Natalia Mantini.

Sadly, your horoscope doesn't always predict a promotion or whirlwind romance. Some weeks, all you'll get is advanced warning that an outer planet is approaching your house of health and wellness. If you aren't an astrology expert (and even if you are), sometimes it can feel like your horoscope just isn't delivering — or that it's downright boring.

It's perfectly fine to take a break from reading your regular 'scope after a dull couple of weeks (something just might bring you back). But, if you're willing to stick things out, it's time you learned the art of the astrological spin.

Keep in mind: Not all celestial events are created equal. A horoscope that warns of a retrograde or a full moon will always be a little more exciting than one that focuses on something like an upcoming new moon, for example. That said, the new moon (or other quieter heavenly shifts) can still offer up a unique set of opportunities, though they may be much lower key.

To stick with the example of the new moon, this regenerative lunar phase can be interpreted as an invitation to take it easy: Stay in for the weekend, get your laundry done, and finally call your mom. Other so-called "boring" planetary movements can signal a similarly restorative period. If your horoscope reports activity in your sector of domestic life, there's your excuse to browse IKEA or splurge on a mini home makeover. That aforementioned outer planet in your house of health might be the heads up you need to start getting a full eight hours' of sleep.

Still not satisfied with your less-than-stellar starmap? Go beyond the weekly, stargazer — and remember that the planets are in constant (if rather slow) motion. Consulting a monthly or annual horoscope will give you a better idea of what's coming up for you in the grand scheme of things. Sure, nothing's on the horizon at the moment, but come December 10, Saturn will scoot into Capricorn and herald a major change in systems of power. Keeping an eye out for these slow-moving transits should help put your snooze-worthy 'scope in perspective.

And, this won't make your horoscope any more exciting, but it's these subtler phases and gradual transits that make the retrogrades, full moons, and Saturn returns all the more momentous. We're never obligated to act based on the stars, but an uneventful horoscope can feel oddly freeing, especially if it arrives after an especially active period. And remember, boring is in the eye of the beholder. To some, the prospect of staying home to rest up would be downright exciting.

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