The Embarrassing Beauty Habits We Always Do When We're Drunk

Life is like a flask of tequila — you never know what you're gonna do when it hits. You might decide it's a cool idea to FaceTime your sleeping parents from the middle of a mosh pit. Maybe you'll run after a stray cat and ruin your dress crawling under a parked car to pet him. You'll definitely declare someone in the bathroom line your new best friend.

And if you're into beauty, you just might loosen up enough to start doing things you'd never consider if you weren't under the influence, like sharing your makeup with the whole bar, or attempting a full Brazilian. We all have a weird habit, and we're getting real about ours, ahead.

Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
"My eyeliner can smell fear, which is why I only attempt a cat-eye or elaborate smoky eye when I'm two glasses of Champagne in. My inhibitions are lowered, so I blend or draw with the abandon of a YouTuber, and I swear it looks better. Or maybe it doesn't and I'm just too buzzed to care." — Cat Quinn, beauty director
"My idea of a nice Friday night is picking up a pizza and a bottle of wine, turning on Netflix, and firing up my laser hair removal device. I do my legs and arms first, but save the most painful parts for the end of the movie, at which point I'm sufficiently buzzed. (By buzzed I mean drunk.) It's the anesthetic I need to survive zapping my labia on the highest setting. I also do this at 4 a.m. after coming home from places that serve much stronger stuff than Pinot Grigio, and I feel absolutely nothing at all." — Alix Tunell, senior beauty editor
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
"When I had relaxed hair in college, I couldn't bear to go to sleep without wrapping my hair, even on those nights when I had one too many cranberry vodkas. I'd spend nearly an hour trying to secure my blowout into a beehive shape with bobby pins, which is something that only took 10 minutes, tops, while sober. I vaguely remember searching for a 'how to wrap your hair' YouTube tutorial (tbh, I probably typed something like 'howromsowap yor har') after a night of barhopping." — Khalea Underwood, beauty writer
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
"When my eyeliner and mascara has started to run late in the night, I look in the bar bathroom mirror, swipe under my eyes with my fingers in an up-and-out motion to get rid of the raccoon eyes, and end up convincing myself that the sweaty black smears on either side of my eyes basically look exactly like cat-eyes. Then I just resume being a drunk mess after that, thinking I look amazing. Photos have proven that this tactic does not, in fact, yield anything that remotely resembles cat-eyes, but that doesn't stop me from always doing it after three bourbon sodas." — Jessica Blankenship, managing editor
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
"I’m no stranger to Brazilian waxes, but that’s an event I rarely DIY... unless I’ve had a few glasses of wine. So, whenever I’m due for a touch-up, I have to be careful with how much I imbibe; otherwise, I’ll find myself spread eagle in front of my bedroom mirror, carelessly slapping on a Completely Bare waxing strip. Also, since alcohol makes me very sleepy, it’s not like I ever have enough vigor to finish the job. I’m not proud of how many times I’ve walked around with a half-waxed vag because I was too drunk to keep going." — Kelsey Castañon, beauty news editor
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
"When I'm drunk, I tend to tell every woman I'm with or meet that night how beautiful she is, and more specifically, how beautiful her hair is. It's always about the hair. I do this to literally anyone, even people I don't like that much." — Rachel Krause, beauty writer
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
"I have this gross habit of letting girls in the bathroom use my lipstick. More often than not, it's my favorite, too — there is just something about Dior's Fluid Stick in Pandore that catches every drunk girl's eye. Usually, I'm too tipsy to say no, and I love flaunting my beauty favorites, but now that I think of it, that applicator could use a good cleaning sooner rather than later." — Samantha Sasso, beauty editorial assistant
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
"When I'm drunk, I crave my face mist. So much so that sometimes, I'll even bring it with me to bars. Must be because alcohol dehydrates you? Who knows." — Claire Fontanetta, beauty editor, brand experiences
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer
"This sounds like something I picked up in Cosmo, but whenever I bring a guy home after going out, I make sure to always grab a rollerball perfume, go to the bathroom, and roll it all over my body before sex." — Audrey Noble, associate beauty editor, brand experiences
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