The Best Sex Positions For When A Penis Seems Too Big To Handle

I once dated a man with a massive penis. His favorite sex position was doggy style, and he'd go hard (which I liked). To give you an idea of what I was working with, this dude's penis clocked in at over nine inches in length with a circumference of six and a half inches (the average penis size is 5.17 inches). Once, after having sex in doggy-style position with him, I stood up and noticed there was blood coming out of my vagina and down my thighs, all the way to my knees. His giant penis had accidentally turned my poor vagina into a war zone.

This is not an uncommon experience — tearing is very possible when having sex with large penises, says Timaree Schmit, PhD, a sex educator. And apparently, having rough, doggy-style sex was not the best way to avoid this. "Doggy allows for greater depth of penetration, which can be great at times but also potentially painful," Dr. Schmit says. "It's also a position in which the receptive partner has less control of the motion than, for instance, being on top."

Clearly, positions matter when it comes to penetrative sex with penises (and not to mention, bigger isn't always better). The vagina can expand comfortably to fit all sorts of objects, Dr. Schmit says. You just have to learn the most comfortable positions to accommodate a larger-than-average penis or dildo. So here are a few sex positions that work exceptionally well and won't break your vagina (or butthole, for that matter).

Oh, and these positions are wonderful, but don't forget to communicate with your partner about how you're feeling throughout, use lots and lots of lube, and have fun with foreplay.

The gap between what we learned in sex ed and what we're learning through sexual experience is big — way too big. So we're helping to connect those dots by talking about the realities of sex, from how it's done to how to make sure it's consensual, safe, healthy, and pleasurable all at once. Check out more, here.

Side-By-Side

Side-by-side sex is incredibly intimate and also prevents super deep penetration when making love to a penis or giant dildo, Dr. Schmit says. Since you're facing one another, it's also incredibly intimate. If you're the one being penetrated, use your legs to control the depth. Keeping your legs straight works best for shallower penetration. If you're interested in something more intense, lift up one leg (or both) and wrap your legs around your lover like a pretzel to pull them deeper inside of you.
Spooning

While some sex positions from behind, such as doggy style, can be painful with larger objects, spooning allows the partner with the big penis or dildo to hit it from the back without causing your vagina or anus immense pain. Why? Because when you're both lying down, the penetrative partner has less control over their thrusts. They're on their side, not knees. Spooning is a favorite cuddling position for a reason; it can be very gentle.

To enter the spooning sex position, have the penetrative partner lube up their penis or dildo while lying on their side. As the receiving partner, use your hands to glide them inside of you, using your hips to gyrate back and forth at a depth and speed that's comfy.
Cradle

Like being on top in cowgirl, cradle position allows the partner to control the depth of penetration. This position has added intimacy of touching torsos. To get into cradle position, have the partner with the penis or dildo sit facing upward with their legs straight out and large shaft facing upward. If you're the receiving partner, lube up, and then gently lower yourself onto the shaft and wrap your legs around your lover.
Cowgirl/Cowboy

This position works great for larger dicks and dildos, because the receiving partner can control the depth and speed of penetration when they're on top, Dr. Schmit says. After having fun with foreplay, lube up the phallus properly (it can be hot to have the receiving partner do it). Then, the receiving partner can slowly insert the penis or dildo using their hands and glide their body down the shaft, moving up and down and only going as deep as feels comfortable.
Standing Doggy Style

As Dr. Schmit says, traditional doggy style can hurt when it's done with a massive object (like a large penis or dildo), because the one being penetrated has less control. In the standing variety, the receiving partner can better manage how deep their well-endowed lover thrusts by opening and closing their thighs.
Reverse Cowgirl/Cowboy

Like the original version, this position works wonders because the person on top can control the depth and speed. Sure, the giver can put their hands on the receiving partner's hips to provide deeper penetration, but ultimately the receiver has the power. And just like with any other sex position, communicate with your partner the moment anything feels uncomfortable, and then adjust accordingly.
Fire Hydrant

Sex with giant penises or dildos can be intense. If it gets uncomfortable, switch to oral, and have the partner wielding the weapon (so to speak) get on their knees. As I said, foreplay is extra important when being penetrated by larger phallic objects, since foreplay helps the vagina self-lubricate, which makes insertion easier.

Keep in mind that you can use fire hydrant to warm up for penetrative sex, or simply enjoy it as a stand-alone act. "Oral and foreplay are phenomenal in general, fun for their own sake, and not just something to be viewed as steps in a process," Dr. Schmit says.