15 Responses To "Are You Seeing Anyone?" (AKA The Worst Question, Ever)

There's a question that plagues many single folk whenever they find themselves at a family gathering, high school reunion, or any other situation in which small talk is involved: "Are you seeing anyone?" It's such a weird inquiry, if you think about it. Asking someone for a status update on their love life is like asking about their most recent dentist appointment. It's personal, it's not always pleasant, and if you haven't heard anything, things are probably the same.

Regardless, someone is going to probably ask at some point. So instead of yelling at your Aunt Jennifer about how reductive that question is, or going on a rant about the dozens of Tinder messages that never amounted to anything, we've come up with a handful of pithy responses. They run the gamut from sassy to sarcastic to sincere, so feel free to tailor your answers to whoever is asking. (No need to make grandma cry, guys.) And if none of these work, feel free to pull a Rihanna and let your aunt know how disappointing the question is. It'll feel great — promise.

"Are you still married?"

Turn the question around, and your inquirer might realize how silly it is.

"You working for TMZ now?"

"You'll have to follow up with my publicist for further questions."

"Trust me — if I were dating someone, you'd know about it."

That's what Instagram is for!

"Just one?"

Who needs to be tied down to one?

"Why — what have you heard?"

If your love life is so interesting, people must be talking about it — right?

"I'm actually thinking about auditioning for the next season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette."

Do you accept this rose?

"Yes — they're coming over for about an hour at 8 tonight."

Add a wink, and just walk away.

"No, but if you're so invested in this, why not start chipping in and set me up?"

Who knows? You could get a set up out of this terrible question!

"No, but trust me — I've got a team of experts working on why not."

They're working 'round the clock!

"No, but do you know how nice it's been to have some time for myself? You should try it!"

Some people may think that single people are just sitting home, feeling sorry about themselves. But sometimes, a little solo time is good for the soul.

"I'm saving myself for Idris Elba."

He'll call one of these days.

"I'm just trying to live my life like a rom-com divorcée."

Have you seen Meryl Streep's wardrobe in It's Complicated?

"You, my father, and grandma seem to be really concerned about this. Maybe you guys should discuss your theories."

Assemble the brain trust!

"I'm not — I'd rather not have to worry about another person when I take this amazing trip next year!"

Do your best Kellyanne Conway and redirect the focus onto all the badass stuff you're doing on your own.

"No, and that question is kind of hurtful. Let me explain why."

Sometimes, people just don't know that their prodding into your personal life can sting a little. So don't be afraid to point out why you'd rather talk about other things. Most of the time, people will be totally respectful of this. And if they're not, you can just walk away.