All those hours you've spent going down the rabbit hole of Dr. Pimple Popper's constantly updated Instagram feed and YouTube videos may make you feel like you missed your calling as a pimple-popping pro yourself. Unfortunately, without becoming a licensed dermatologist or aesthetician, even the most devout followers are limited to going to town on their own pimples and theirs alone — or, if they're especially lucky, that of a trusting partner or (very) close friend.
But one popaholic, as they're called, is taking the obsession one big step further by offering their amateur services to the public — via a still-active listing on Craigslist. Because where else would you advertise your interest in popping the pimples of complete strangers other than the forum that brought us such benefactions as the once-in-a-lifetime chance to make an eclipse baby in order to achieve "the next level of human evolution"?
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The ad, straightforwardly titled "Let me Pop your Pimples," was shared in full on Reddit (in the /r/popping thread, naturally). The author begins by explaining that they're just "one of the popaholic[s]" obsessed with watching blemishes being popped or picked at. "I thought I [would] give myself a holiday present this year and pop some pimples of my own. Only I don't seem to have any. This is where you come in."
Not only is this anonymous, NYC-based individual offering to pop your pimples, but they're willing to pay you for the privilege. "If you have pimples/acne/blackheads and would allow me to pop them I would be extremely grateful. I would pay you, too," the ad reads. "$45 an hour." They'll even let you bring a friend "to pass the time and make you feel comfortable" and they're 420-friendly and "can provide a joint or two."
Now that's a pretty sweet deal — except for the part where you'd be letting a stranger have their way with your face, equipped with nothing but Q-tips, rubber gloves, a sterile needle, rubbing alcohol, and a layman's knowledge of how to do extractions. But if you aren't fazed by the possibility of infection, scarring, and the countless other things that could possibly go wrong, then by all means. You can even think of it as a good deed: You'd be making someone's holiday, after all.