Whitney Cummings may now be a successful comedian and actress, but things weren't always so rosy.
In excerpts of her book, I'm Fine... And Other Lies, obtained by People, Cummings wrote about the eating disorder that she developed as a teenager.
"I became irrationally terrified of fat," she writes in the book, explaining that after watching both her mother and stepmother adhere to diets, she began to subsist primarily on rice cakes, apples, and nonfat yogurt from the ages of 14-18.
"It was as if I were looking in a funhouse mirror that makes your hips comically large," she writes. "I literally could not see myself how others did."
Cummings was also experiencing body dysmorphia, a body image disorder than can have its sufferers thinking about their real or perceived flaws for hours or even days. While many of us have things that we don't like about our bodies, those who suffer from body dysmorphia experience severe emotional distress over perceived flaws, becoming fixated on them.
Her body dysmorphia and eating disorder continued after she moved to Los Angeles at 19 to pursue a career. She writes in her book that at one point, she was binge-eating in her sleep.
"Sometimes I was even sticky from whatever weird sauce I blindly poured down my throat."
With help and the support of friends, however, Cummings was able to turn a corner, and while recovery hasn't been an easy road, she's been able to find light and humor in her circumstances to channel into her book.
"I feel like I finally accumulated enough embarrassments, disasters, and wisdom to put a book together that can compete with reading the Internet," she told People earlier this year. "And you’re welcome, readers, now you can just read this book instead of fucking up like I did."
If you are struggling with an eating disorder and are in need of support, please call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. For a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741.
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