The No-B.S. Beauty Advice We Actually Text Our Friends

We're all guilty of trying to get the most out of a dinner party guest with an interesting job. Who hasn't asked the stock broker where they're secretly putting their money? Or spilled their messy breakup story to the therapist in the bathroom after a bottle of wine? As beauty editors who serve as on-call dermatologists, hairstylists, and makeup artists (anything that ends in "-ist," really) to our friends, family members, and postman, we get it — and we love it.

"Can I use this Victoria's Secret body lotion from middle school that I found in my childhood home?" "Why isn't this toothpaste treating my pimple?" "How do I unclog my shower drain after using a coffee body scrub?" We've heard it all. Ahead, some of the beauty-related text messages we've gotten recently from our contacts outside the industry. It's a hard job, but somebody's gotta do it.

A good rule of thumb: If you can't remember when you bought a beauty product, it's probably (read: definitely) not going to work the way it normally would. (For a more specific breakdown of what exactly you throw out when, click here... cough, brother of mine, cough.)
Telling a beauty editor you didn't wear sunscreen is like telling a PETA employee you're going fishing. Not only will it keep you safe from skin cancer, slathering on SPF before stepping outside also means you won't have to worry about the sun spots that show up down the line.
"This one" refers to Baby Foot — the weird, gross, and endlessly addicting exfoliating peel that turns your feet into dried Elmer's Glue. Its results are in a league of its own.
Bet you never thought you'd find one of Sephora's best-selling primers and Starbucks napkins mentioned in the same sentence, but alas. No coffee chain near you? That's impossible, but nevertheless, toilet seat covers and tissue papers work just as well.
Gentle sudsers, moisturizers, and creams are the key to stopping itchy skin in its tracks. "Keep calm and text a beauty editor" is already a t-shirt, right?
The only thing more perplexing than how someone earns the nickname "KousKous," is WTF to do with your hairline frizz in the heat of the summer. Right this way, all the tips and tricks you need — no matter your hair type.
When you're after a dewy skin effect, there are two things you can do: Step outside when the humidity index is at 100%, or invest in a primer that boasts astronomical results. Honestly, we all know which one sounds better.
"Isn't there some kind of lipstick that is stuck on..." very well may be one of the best ways to describe a long-wearing lip formula. And the answer is yes. Allow us to direct you to a list of our favorite liquid lip stains...
Like an itch you can't scratch yourself, sometimes all you need is a beauty editor to answer that super-specific, super-generic question you had about the one hair product you tried that one time and really liked, and do you by chance remember what that was? (Answer: Of course we do.)
No one is interested in taking their hair to grease city, which is why dry shampoo has become a saving grace for busy people everywhere. An editor favorite across the board: Living Proof's Perfect Hair Day Dry Shampoo.
Even if they're just responding to a simple lipstick recommendation request, you can count on a beauty editor writing a novel.
Hey, we can appreciate the draw of a good hair product sale, too! (Especially if its of the high-end persuasion, like in Oribe's case.)
One common thread in a beauty editor's text messages: a little commiseration over failed treatments or products. Then it's back to business as usual.
After days of hair colorist recos, shade range suggestions, salon pointers, and "definitely-do-not-ask-for-that" lists, is it at all that surprising when the "in progress" photos follow?
But not even the most seasoned beauty veteran gets it right every single time. (For the record, our St. Tropez Self Tan Express Bronzing Mousse recommendation still stands, although we maybe should have prefaced that paler folks should start with a thin layer first.)
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