There are few times in your life when you’re allowed, nay encouraged, to make things all about you without being deemed a narcissistic attention-seeker. Your birthday? Sure, it’s only once a year. Celebrating a killer success, like a promotion? Great! You earned it. Getting married? Well, ramming your own good fortune down others’ throats for a whole day is basically the law.
But beware: there will always be someone ready to overshadow your moment. One such person is “John”, who popped the question to his girlfriend “Jane” at his best friend’s wedding and in so doing, riled up a horde of Twitter users.
The shocked and angry unnamed bride, who understandably felt upstaged by John’s actions, wrote to Slate’s advice column, Dear Prudence, to ask whether her anger was warranted. Twitter user @ashuhhleeee_ posted a screenshot of the column and, needless to say, the ensuing consensus was that the bride's fury is very much justified.
“My husband and I started dating, got pregnant, had a child, moved in together, bought a house and got a dog in that order. Our friends and family have asked us for years why we weren’t married yet. We always pushed it off to build better lives. We’ve done really well for ourselves and finally reached a point where we could afford a huge blowout wedding to celebrate our lives with everyone we know and love. My husband’s best friend, ‘John,’ was the best man/officiant,” the bride wrote.
“The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed. My mom may have used the phrase ‘hallelujah’ a few dozen times. The entire atmosphere felt moving. So moving in fact that John stopped mid-ceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, ‘Jane’, and reveal her pregnancy,” the bride added. Could you imagine being as arrogant or as socially gauche as John?
“I couldn’t even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane’s happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests, and people seated nearby congratulating her. Even the videographer cut to her frequently during the ceremony, and you can’t hear anything over the chatter.”
It gets worse. John didn’t just hijack the ceremony and interrupt one of the most important moments of his friends' lives. He then went on to ensure the rest of the day was about his own relationship. “When John gave his toast, he apologized for being caught up in the moment, and then proceeded to talk about he and Jane’s future with nary a mention of us. During the reception John and Jane became the primary focus of our guests."
Yup, you guessed it. It gets worse. "John even went out of his way to ask the band for a special dance for just him and Jane on the dance floor." Really. Our jaws just hit the floor.
The self-effacing bride went on to say she's "never been an attention hog" and wouldn't have minded if John had proposed to Jane after the ceremony. But weeks later, she's "still seething" at John's selfishness. "I am so shocked and angry that I keep asking myself if this is real life."
Her husband hasn't spoken to John since the wedding and the couple's mutual friends agree that what he did was rude, but that her husband "should just get over it". The bride added, "My husband has joked that he’ll resume his friendship when John and Jane give him a $40,000 check for 'their half of the wedding.'"
She then went on to ask Prudence, a.k.a. Mallory Ortberg, whether John's actions warrant ending a long-term friendship or whether they should let it slide. Ortberg said it "merits a fight" to help find a middle ground "in between ‘getting over it’ and ‘never speaking to John again’." She continued, saying, "He’s your husband’s best friend, so your husband should tell John just how upset his behavior during your wedding made him."
But many thought Ortberg's advice didn't go far enough and Twitter users expressed their outrage on the bride's behalf.
Others began suggesting devious ways in which she could get her own back.
What would you do if John commandeered your wedding? Would he be dead to you henceforth, or could you let it go?
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