Here’s A Suggestion — Let’s Make The New Pope A Woman

It's not just you: Catholic Church content is everywhere these days. There's been a recent influx of pop culture story lines using religious figureheads as the central characters, and churches as the settings of these projects. The trend spans from television shows (The Young Pope) to movies (The Little Hours) to chilling docu-series (The Keepers). And it doesn't appear to be going anywhere anytime soon, as HBO just announced the premise of the second season of the aforementioned divine series, The Young Pope.

The second installment of the limited series will be retitled The New Pope, and will enlist a brand new pontiff of the Catholic Church, according to Variety. Lenny Belardo, the Cherry Coke Zero-loving, track-suit wearing, cigarette-smoking American young Pope is out, and a brand new pope is in. The season will be "set in the world of modern papacy" says the showrunner Paolo Sorrentino, and will go in to production in Italy late next year, but that is about all he will reveal. The chief of content at Sky Italia, the European network teamed up with HBO for the project, promised this: “Just like The Young Pope, Sorrentino is writing the script for the new show, but it will have a different twist than what would be expected."  Knowing this, we have a proposition: let's make the new pope a woman. What is more radical, more spectacular, and more "holy fuck yes"-inducing than that twist? Nothing. So, let's make it happen (since even the woke Pope Francis doesn't want women to even earn clericalised in order to become cardinals).

The first season shook me to my core over its dazzling visuals, fantastic music selection, and impressive characterization that I was at a loss of how to even properly review it. And I want that same thing to happen again: Sorrentino, let's get weird.

Here are the woman that should be the New Pope.

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Diane Keaton

If we consider Diane Keaton's role as Sister Mary an audition for her new part as the new pope, then I'd say she nailed it. I mainly just want her to be pope so that I can get to see her casually wearing this "I'm A Virgin, But This Shirt Is Old" tee again, too.
Madonna

Drops mic.
Zoë Kravitz

The daughter of Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz is, without a doubt, a divine creature all on her own in real-life. Plus, imagine the new pope having a pixie cut: manic pixie pope, anyone?
Angela Lansbury

Prayers, she wrote.
Angela Bassett

She's already been a voodoo queen, so she's already halfway there. Just kidding! But, American Horror Story: The Catholic Church isn't too outlandish of a premise either, so we better get her on one of these stat.
Reese Witherspoon

I promise I am not just listing the cast of Big Little Lies, but Reese Witherspoon and her steely suburban mom from hell vibes would be weirdly perfect as a cookie-cutter pope with a wild side. I mean, if anyone was going to make it to the Vatican, it would be Tracey Flick.
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