15 Next-Level Oral Sex Tips That Real People Actually Use

The only thing more satisfying than being on the receiving end of great oral sex is knowing that you did a great job performing it on your partner. To give is to receive, if you will. Every sexual partner has different taste — literally and figuratively — and when you figure out exactly what your partner likes, it can be intensely gratifying.

Having a few go-to tips in your back pocket will make oral sex speed along for those times when you feel like you've been under water for hours. No shade, but giving oral sex is work, and it doesn't make you any less altruistic if you wish it would go by quicker sometimes.

Watching porn can be helpful to research new techniques, but porn is aspirational, so you can't always copy and paste what you see into your own sex life. So we asked people in the R29 community to share their best tips for performing oral on both vaginas and penises that totally work IRL. These innovative strategies might be just the thing to push your partner's buttons. Feel free to go to town and claim all the bragging rights, you cunning linguist.

Listen.

Both the receiver and the giver have important jobs during oral sex, and one reader says their favorite thing is when their partner "actually listens to what they say to do." So, if you're giving oral sex, don't forget to pay attention to the feedback that your partner is providing in real time.

Dictate what's happening.

It's normal for some people to feel a little bit awkward or lonely while on the receiving end of oral sex. One reader recommends talking through what your partner is doing and the sensations in your body in real time, so you have something to do and "can dirty talk while you enjoy oral."

Don't stop.

Some people tend to feel extra sensitive after an orgasm, but one reader suggests to keep going after your partner has orgasmed because, "there's usually more left in the tank," they say. That's true for some people, and a 2016 study found that if your moves are slower and less forceful after climaxing, it might be easier to have multiple orgasms. Talk to your partner, and see if that works for them.

It's not all tongue-out licking.

One reader suggests gently sucking on your partner's clitoris, and using your tongue at the same time. "Suck and hold it in your mouth, then use your tongue; it's not all tongue-out licking," they say.

Make eye contact.

While you're going down on your partner, make eye contact with them, suggests a reader: "I love seeing my partner close their eyes and roll them back." And they'll love having your entire focus on them, too.

Vary your speed.

One reader suggests varying your speed and pressure while giving a blowjob. "I've found that alternating between a steady, rhythmic motion and then going fairly slow is effective," they say. This tip also gives you a little bit of a break if you're tired — win-win.

Spell the alphabet.

Spelling the alphabet with your tongue is a tried-and-true classic oral sex tip, but for a good reason: It works. One reader said they like to spell the ABCs with their tongue and "try not to die." Of happiness, perhaps?

Be enthusiastic.

A lot of people get stressed receiving oral sex because they're worried their partner isn't enjoying it — but they definitely are. If you act enthusiastic as you give someone head, your partner will feel much more relaxed about it and be even more turned on, one reader says.

Stimulate the anus.

One reader says they like it when their partner "puts a finger in my butt." You can also both try wearing butt plugs during the duration of oral sex.

Lick from the top down.

If you're giving a blowjob and your mouth needs a break from sucking, use your tongue to lick your partner's penis. Start at the head of the penis, and lick all the way down to your partner's balls. Then reverse it, starting at the balls and licking up the shaft. Repeat for as many reps as your neck muscles — or partner — can handle.

Twist your hands.

Use your hands as an extension of your mouth, but don't just go straight up and down on your partner's penis. "I rotate it as I move up and down, in a tiny clockwise circle," one reader says. "That repetitive motion drives them crazy. It's my little twist, pun intended."

Don't forget about the balls.

If you're performing oral on someone with a penis and testicles, one reader says you shouldn't forget to do something with the person's balls. You can try tea-bagging, squeezing them (gently) with your hands, or licking them as you move your mouth down.

Finger your partner.

Do double-duty and use your hands while you stimulate your partner's clitoris with your tongue: "I'm queer, so if I'm with someone with a vagina, this means fingering them (usually two pressed up against the anterior wall of the vagina, aiming for that G-spot) while I lick their clit," one reader says.

Rub the whole shaft of your partner's penis.

Using your hands to correspond with your mouth movements isn't cheating — it's resourceful. "Especially for those [who are] seriously packing, this is a great trick to pleasure their entire shaft without choking yourself to death," one reader says. Keep the tip of your partner's penis in your mouth and your hands around the shaft, and then just move up and down in sync. This works for penises of all sizes.

Embrace your throat mucus.

Saliva is your body's favorite natural lube, but there's a potentially untapped resource located in the back of your throat that you can also aim for: mucus. "You only have so much saliva, and it runs out fast," one reader says. "It's much easier to use the mucus in the back of your throat; it's a better lubricant anyway, and when you probe that area with a penis, the throat will produce more. It's a win-win!"

Do you have a go-to oral sex tip that's not on this list? Click the slide to submit your tip (it's totally anonymous), and it could appear in this story.