11 Amazing Skymall Products That Somehow Led To Bankruptcy

 Today might (seriously, will) go down in history as the day that flying got one million times worse. You may have heard — or perhaps you just sensed a disturbance in the force — but Skymall, the airborne shopping magazine of record, is in grave danger and has filed for bankruptcy. Oh, beloved tome of hallowed pages, how will dogs stay calm during thunderstorms and money remain properly sorted without the wares you so nobly displayed? How will thousands of frequent flyer geeks get their supply of Arwen pendants and Deathly Hallows necklaces? In these trying times, the best one can do is try to stave off yet another crying fit by looking through this slideshow of classic Skymall items.

Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
There’s only one thing more classy than a home bar, and that’s an antique-look globe — but wait! There’s actually one thing classier than both, and that’s an antique-look globe that is also a home bar.

Design Toscano Italian Replica Globe Bar, $189.00, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
The upside of this self-cleaning litter box is convenience. The downside is that you have to have a mini MRI-machine full of poop in your living room.

Skymall Collection Litter Robots, $339.99, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
Oh, those childhood memories: Eating cookie dough and getting up early on Christmas morning and running through the yard, screaming and crying, as your dad chases you on a bouncy white unicorn-monster...

Skymall Collection Plush Hopper Ball Adult Unicorn, $79.99, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
Are you finally leaving the city to start a family in the suburbs? Seeking a way to transition hipster micro-brewing into your new McMansion? Enjoy this personalized brewery growler set.

Skymall Collection Personalized Brewery Growler Set, $64.99, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
Too dark to zipline? Legs broken from midnight ziplining into a wall? Worry no more! The Night Riderz Lighted Zipline is the product for you, and if it doesn’t work out, you can always repurpose the name and start a brothel.

Skymall Collection Night Ryderz Lighted Zipline, $199.99, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
One weird trick to being infinitely more obnoxious — dogs hate him!

Skymall Collection #Hipster Dog Bed, $68.00, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
His name is Robert Paulson.

What On Earth I'm Right, I'm Bob Shirt, $19.95, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
The sign says, “Welcome.” But it really means “run for your life.”

Design Toscano Delightful Dancing Ducks Welcome Sign, $24.95, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
Apparently, SkyMall printed a million of these T-shirts in the late ‘90s and they’restilltrying to sell them.

Skymall Collection Get Off The Internet T-Shirt, $24.00, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
The gift that says: "I hate your beer belly and also wish you were more like Benjamin Millepied.”

Leo Torso Toner Body Shaper for Men, $60.00, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
Take comfort in knowing that in addition to going to heaven, your dog has also developed a really weird and gross eye disease. And, will spend eternity in giant hands.

Design Toscano In God's Hands Dog Memorial Statue, $59.95, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
This makes the perfect gift for the Disney villain in your life

Design Toscano Cobra Walking Stick, $69.95, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
A perfect gift for the children of people you hate.

Hammacher Schlemmer Remote Controlled Tarantula Spider, $29.95, available at Skymall.
Photo: Courtesy of Skymall.
And, this. This is also a thing. A strange, scary singing thing.

Improvements Singing Gondolier, $59.99, available at Skymall.