8 Things You Need To Know This AM, According To Chelsea Handler

1. U.S. News: Good news, your college debt is great for the economy!

People with college debt are educated people, and the more there are, the more higher-paying jobs there are. I didn’t go to college, so I got my debt the old-fashioned way: buying dolphins. (Read More)

2. World News: 2016 is shaping up to be the hottest year on record.

How many thousands of studies will have to be published before everyone is on board with this whole climate change thing? (Read More)

3. Tech: Self-driving cars are going to hurt your head.

Experts say the human brain may be too easily distracted for self-driving cars. But they say we only use 10% of our brains, so what do we know? (Read More)

4. Relationships: Text dirty to me.

According to a new survey, people who sext are more likely to be in stable, committed relationships…and probably have way more penetration. So keep sending those dick pics, I guess. (Read More)

5. Fashion: The only wonder in bras these days is wondering why millennial women won’t wear one.

To the disappointment of bra manufacturers and America at large, bra sales for millennials are dropping. I want young people to know bras are the reason people think mine are fake. (Read More)

6. Money: It’s all about the Hamiltons.

A marketing professor in Toronto says we value our purchases more when we pay cash. Which is why you should always pay your credit card bill with a stack of singles. (Read More)

7. Career: Want to be successful like me? Answer yes to these questions…

A woman studied the thoughts and behaviors of more than 100 high earners. If you answer yes to the questions in the article, you might have what it takes to be a millionaire. Or you could end up poor…who the hell knows? (Read More)

8. Love & Marriage: Till margaritas do us part.

After surveying 2,767 married couples, researchers found that those who drink together are happier...mostly because they can’t remember what they fought about the night before. (Read More)

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