Lingerie, Liquor, and Love: Updated Valentine's Day Events for Couples, Singles, and Everyone In Between

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The Valentine's Day "Love Carnival"
Held at Carlos Quiarte and Matt Kliegman's new space at 26 Bond Street, the Carnival t'will be a circusy carnival affair, with kissing booths, love potions, face painting, photo booths, darts and a raffle (with great donations from Marc Jacobs, Opening Ceremony, Rogan, etc.) The entry fee is $30 (or $60 with a free "special" gift.) The whole fest benefits, The Creative Center, an organization that brings artists to the bedsides of Oncology patients for art therapy at hospitals throughout New York. Valentine's Day Love Carnival at The Smile.
The Awful Truth
"A zappy, sophisticated screwball comedy," starring Irene Dunne and Cary Grant, is a far, far cry from modern nonsense like He's Just Not That Into You. To make a night of it, package deal includes film tickets, dinner, glass of champagne, tax, and gratuity ($63 per person). The 6pm screening can come with an 8:15pm dinner, or the 8pm screening with a 6pm dinner. Special Valentine's Day Dinner & A Movie package at BAMcafé.
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An Evening of Sensual Machine Music
For all you love machines out there, Le Poisson Rouge offers a night of heartwarming beats with sets by Lusine, Grouper, Michael Brofman, and the Sight Below. Take note, this line up trends more to the sultry and ambient side so, along with the included three-course meal, you should be all warmed up for a long, private night by the time you head out the door. An Evening of Sensual Machine Music at Le Poisson Rouge.
More romantic nighttime affairs below.
Valentine's Day Personal Media Mixer & Confessional Culture Variety ShowFeeling frustrated by lurv gone awry? Well, join the crowd: the folks behind PostSecret, FOUND magazine, Mortified, Six-Word Memoirs, and Cassette from my Ex will all share stories and secrets. Harsh rejections, quiet crushes, dramatic longing, you name it. Admission ($15) includes a copy of Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak, or a Mortified, FOUND, or PostSecret book. Media Mixer & Confessional Culture Variety Show at Housing Works.
My Bloody Valentine's Day
My Bloody Valentine for the literal-minded set: four vampire flick will be playing onscreen (Nosferatu, Vampyros Lesbos, etc.) while you eat a five-course, all chocolate dinner ($50 prix-fixe menu). There's a regular dinner too, but seriously, why would one ever turn down an all-chocolate dinner?? My Bloody Valentine's Day at Monkeytown.
Pretty in Pink
Nothing says date night like burlesque queens, go-go dancers and porn stars. Except perhaps a couples strip-off contest. Kinky kids, this one's for you! $10, $8 if dressed in pink. Pretty in Pink at Public Assembly.
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19th-Century Love Speak
Learn how to flirt proper-style during this Merchant's House Museum open house. It's a daytime event (from noon to 5pm, free with museum admission) so you'll be on fire by nightfall when you're cruisin' at any number of other events (see above and below). 19th-Century Love Speak at Merchant's House Museum.
Heeb Storytelling: Valentine's Day
Described as "part cabaret, part Catskills", how could you not want to go? An evening full of tales about love inflected with Jewish neuroses: the Woody Allen-esque woes of the new millenium! Heeb Storytelling: Valentine's Day Edition at 92nd St Y Tribeca.
Glasslands Valentines Day Party
This music-to-your-ears event is presented by Kyp Malone, of TV on The Radio fame. Bring yer hipster significant other and sway slowly to the sounds of other guest performers including Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson. Valentines Day Party at GlassLands.
F*ck Valentine's Day Party
Damn you, happily coupled valentines! Singletons, cynics, and anti-Hallmarkers can get their scoff and their drink on in Brooklyn; drinks specials for singles. F*ck Valentine's Day Party at Bushwick Country Club.
Tasty Treats at Sweet Revenge and Cocoa BarNibbling on sweets is what Valentine's day is all about, whether or not you have someone to nibble with. Leave those chalky candy hearts aside. Try adorable West Village cafe Sweet Revenge's cupcake and beer pairings (you won't regret it) or, if you want more traditional, go to the LES's sleek Cocoa Bar for chocolate and wine pairings. Either way, your tongue will be satisfied.
The New Yorker Speakeasy: Love Is Strange at Galapagos
The New Yorker is debut a new series of cabaret-style evenings hosted by mag's fiction editor, Deborah Treisman. The evening boasts quite a line-up: namely Gabriel Byrne, Jeffrey Eugenides, Grizzly Bear, Victor Rasuk, and Karen Russell. There's always the romance of the written word. The New Yorker Speakeasy: Love Is Strange at Galapagos.