Okay, that headline might be a bit extreme, but we think it gets our point across quite neatly. Recently, we came across this well-written list of nine reasons to have a one-night stand. Citing everything from Erica Jong to personal experience, Jill Di Donato walks through arguments ranging from the importance of getting to know yourself and what you like to the fact that Mr. or Ms. Right is just not guaranteed to turn up any time soon. Or possibly ever.
In theory, we're 100% on board with the idea of this kind of empowerment. After all, we stand behind the idea that women and men should be able to dictate their own sex lives, and guilt over feeling satisfied with it, or seeking out pleasure, should have no place in our adult lives. But in practice, we have some uncertainty about how this story actually plays out.
First, we're pretty sure the question wouldn't even have been on the table in our twenties, when we were much more insecure about everything relating to relationships, and even in the least promising situations, found ourselves injured if a man who we had no interest in felt the same way (i.e. "I want him to want me even if I don't want him.").
That said, though, even today, it feels a little precarious. Better sex so often comes after intimacy, so the idea of finding yourself more satisfied because you don't feel a connection or a need to please another person seems tough. Plus, we've all read the argument about female brains releasing oxytocin at orgasm, triggering a response that causes emotional attachment (although, maybe that one's only partially true?).
And finally, this post feels like such an interesting pivot from last year's much-buzzed-about relationship-advice story, "Why You're Not Married," courtesy of Mad Men writer Tracy McMillan, on Huffington Post (involving arguments like "you're a slut" and "you're a bitch"). And, it harkens back to the first season of Sex and the City, asking the question "Can women enjoy sex like a man?". For us, the jury's still out, but we're hoping you'll elucidate the issue (and help us sort out whether or not we feel okay about the pendulum shift in this argument about sexuality in general) in the comments.
Photo: Via Enjoy Good Days