The Key To A Perfect Braid? Complete Silence

Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
A Quiet Place leaves you with a lot of lingering questions: How do you have sex with John Krasinski without making a sound? What happens if you fart? Why on earth wouldn’t you just move down by that babbling river? But the one thing I really can’t stop thinking about is Emily Blunt’s perfectly disheveled boho braid. No, it didn’t take me out of the film — if anything, it made me realize that silence might be the beauty trick we’ve been missing this entire time.
I imagined Blunt's character Evelyn carefully dipping her hair in river water and letting it air dry in the heat until it was wavy and sun-kissed with that slightly mussed-up quality you only get on vacation. There would be no rough brushing, no angry whir of a blow dryer, no annoying beeps of the Beachwaver, no high-pitched YouTube tutorial blaring in the background, no one banging on your door telling you to hurry up because we really should have left for the party 10 minutes ago.
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You’d gently pull your hair back and take your time slowly weaving the three sections over each other until you reach the ends, at which point you'd carefully tie it off with a loose elastic making sure not to snap it lest you become an ear monster's next meal. On second and third days, you'd puff a little dry shampoo into your roots (aerosols are completely out of the question) and just let the pieces in the front fall as your constant stress sweat softly texturizes them. You’d push a few of them out of your face, smile at your smoking hot husband, and hand your children artfully smoked salmon lettuce wraps while you say a silent prayer over your impending inaudible childbirth.
Sure, you might die at any possible moment, but hell if you don't look good doing it.