As someone who grew up on the internet, I cannot stress enough the importance of regularly purging your embarrassing presence. This is a lesson Timothée Chalamet and, now, Tom Hardy, had to learn the hard way. There's nothing that ruins the swagger of your successful acting career faster than your previous attempt at a rap career blowing back into your face, and I'm not going to show any mercy and instead will rate both of them.
NME stumbled upon Hardy's 1999 mixtape titled "Falling On Your Arse In 1999."
“Made in a bedroom 1999 these mixtapes were never really finished," the Bandcamp page reads. "Lyrics written and performed by Tom Hardy. Music written and produced by Ed Tracy."
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This isn't a rap mixtape in the more traditional sense, as it samples bits of jazz and movie soundtracks underneath more mellow vocals. There are also 18 songs, which is as impressive as it is excessive, but makes the 7 pound price tag a steal.
Overall impressions? Points for this sounding like a real mixtape that you could find on iTunes or Spotify, but am deducting a couple of them for the use of the phrase "cream your pants" in "People Like To Boogie."
Now to Chalamet, who made the unfortunate mistake of being very outgoing in high school. While you may have already stumbled upon the rap video he made for his statistics class (shoutout to Miss Lawton), he truly flexes both his rapping and dancing skills in this performance simply titled "Timmy Tim Sings & Dances." Accurate!
For me, this gets an incredible amount of points for how elaborate it is, a fact which makes it increase in its potential for embarrassment with every passing year. But is he...good at it? He does refer to his own rapping as "garbage" in an interview with James Corden, and while I wouldn't go that far, it's fair to say Chalamet plays to his audience whereas Hardy's raps definitely came from the soul.
Let's just leave it at this: It's good they both decided to become actors instead! But I'll be crossing my fingers for a rap battle when the two inevitably attend the Oscars.