*NSYNC Is Bringin' Da Throwback Merch

If you're standing or in public right now, I encourage you to please find a safe, judgment-free space. I'm about to share some news with you that may make you cry, but I promise there's a truly happy ending.

Are you alone? OK, here it is: *NSYNC is about to celebrate its 20th anniversary.

Yes, two decades is a long time. No, I'm not going to tolerate you saying how *old* you are now because age-shaming doesn't fly here. Moving on!

To commemorate their major milestone, the boys who bragged they'd "bring in the noise, bring down the house" have pledged to bring fans some truly covetable '90s-themed merchandise. According to BuzzFeed, *NSYNC have teamed up with Epic Rights to create a new line of goodies, including clothing, accessories, games, and a myriad of other collectible items that will launch sometime in 2018. Cue the celebratory body rolls!

Since we don't know exactly what they're going to be offering, might I make a few suggestions? For starters, everyone should have access to a wig of Justin Timberlake's iconic Top Ramen hair, fully equipped with those horrible highlighted tips. Much like a mullet, it's the one style that's so bad, it's actually great. Sorry, Chris Kirkpatrick, but I don't think anyone will ever want to recreate your braided skunk-inspired ponytail.

Secondly, I demand a line of shiny pleather coats and loud bucket hats. The gaudier, the better.

Finally, the world deserves animatronic figurines that sing "(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You." That is the one song that is scientifically proven to be better than a pint of ice cream for healing a broken heart.

Oh, and did I mention that they are going to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, too? BECAUSE THEY ARE! I'm sorry, it's all just very exciting.

If you find that you can't wait until next year to get your hands on some nostalgic items, you're in luck. Not only did *NSYNC just release their famous holiday album on vinyl for the first time ever, but they also just dropped some Christmas-y sweaters that are far more amazing than you could possibly dream up.

BRB, ordering everything else that's in stock.