As a woman, I feel so much pressure to look put together and well-dressed every single day. As a plus size woman, I feel that pressure even more so than when I was a straight size. I think part of that is because there are plus size women out there who have hid their bodies under baggy clothes for long periods of time - whether it be because we were ashamed to show our bodies or because we didn't have access to clothes we like that fit. Another part of this reasoning is because people judge. I already have a strike against me for going out in public as a fat person; I'm looked down upon and shamed. And I get another strike if I'm not dressed well. This world cares so much about image, so sometimes we have to conform to the pressures. Because as a woman, if I'm not wearing makeup, I'm told I look 'sick' and 'tired', and maybe even 'ugly'. As a woman, if I'm wearing a simple and comfy outfit, I'm not 'trying hard enough'. As a plus size woman, if I'm wearing comfy clothes, I'm seen as 'not trying hard enough' too, but even more so because I'm fat. In many people's eyes, fat equals lazy/unhealthy/gross. So it's another strike of judgment when I'm not putting all my effort into that day's look. And especially now that I have embraced my body as a fat person, people also expect me to ALWAYS be wearing risqué clothing. I'm here to tell you to eff the rules. If you want to wear something baggy (I do for comfort or on days I don't want to stand out), you are no less confident or worthy. You don't HAVE to always look like a 10. What matters is that you feel like a 10, or that you are working towards that number (because you deserve to feel good about yourself!). We may have days we don't want to wear makeup, or form fitting clothing, or more risqué outfits. That doesn't mean that we hate ourselves or that we were faking being confident all along. It just means whatever because it simply doesn't matter. You don't have to wear sheer clothing, less clothing or tight clothing (unless you want to!) to prove you are confident or body positive. Confidence isn't just how we look; it can also be seen in how we speak, and in how we treat ourselves and others.
I Make $500,000 A Year—& I Have 4 Sugar Babies