People Had The Funniest & Most Savage Responses To This Wedding Dilemma

Photographed by Megan Madden.
A redditor introduced a relatable wedding dilemma to the masses earlier today: "What would you do if your two best friends' weddings were on the same day?"
Instead of giving her sensible advice, most of the users on the thread had responses that were a little on the...inane side. But we like it better this way, because 1) They were hilarious, 2) You can't really tell someone what to do in that situation without more context, which the original post, by @youstalkedmyhistory, did not provide.
"Fake my death, move to Swaziland, and become a yeoman farmer," said @SamWitwacky.
"Cut myself in half and the friend I like the most gets the bigger half to attend their wedding," said @Dysiak. (Presumably, the bigger half would include this person's face so they can eat the wedding cake and talk to people.)
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Some of the responses, though, sounded more like real advice.
"Depends, are they close?" asked @acf6b. "Go to both, if not, go to whoever is a higher ranking friend or who asked me first if they are equal." That sounds pretty reasonable — if you can possibly split your time between both, we'd say that's the best option.
Said @sexrockandroll: "Husband and I would probably split up and each go to the one we felt we were more friends with. If I wasn't married, I'd just stay home, heh."
For one redditor, it was all about the open bar: "Tell them I'll flip a coin," @OlderBrother1 said. "They'd probably understand and be on board with this plan... But then, I'd lie about the coin and just go to the one which had the most options of premium alcohol."
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