Way back in 2007, Tom Cruise garnered criticism from German politicians and media outlets after being cast as Colonel Claus Graf Schenk von Stauffenberg in the 2008 World War II thriller, Valkyrie. The movie told the story of Colonel Stauffenberg’s failed attempt to kill Adolf Hitler, and many thought Cruise was a controversial choice because of this belief in Scientology. That controversy went down about a decade ago, however, and for the most part, it has since been forgotten. Yet, Tom Cruise’s performance in Valkyrie has, for some reason, popped up again on Twitter as a point of discussion. This time though, it’s not about his beliefs; it’s all about his butt.
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Yesterday evening, a Twitter user named @iluvbutts247 shared a screenshot from this movie that showed Tom Cruise on his hands and knees with his hindquarters up in the air, and wrote, "hello, please, i present the theory that for one single shot in Valkyrie (2008), at 5:12, tom cruise wears a fake butt. observe:"
hello, please, i present the theory that for one single shot in Valkyrie (2008), at 5:12, tom cruise wears a fake butt. observe: pic.twitter.com/Tw6yTbsQUe
— swizz keats (@iluvbutts247) August 20, 2017
In this particular photo, the seat of Cruise's pants does appear to be very nicely filled out, but if you haven't spent much time staring at the actor's butt, you may have no real basis for comparison. Luckily, though, Twitter was on it.
A different Twitter user followed up by posting a screen grab from another point in the scene, and wrote, "That's a weird angle. Here's another where it's normal." Still another person shared a GIF-version of the photo, which provided an extended opportunity to examine the butt. @iluvbutts247 also posted a poll that asked "but is it TOO juicy?" To that, we pose a counter-question: Is there really such a thing? The examination of Tom Cruise's 2007 butt continued from there. Here are some highlights:
— Nick Snow (@nicksnow) August 21, 2017
but is it TOO juicy?
— swizz keats (@iluvbutts247) August 20, 2017
That is Tom Cruise's stunt bubble
— JMoring (@beingJMoring) August 21, 2017
Probably his actual butt, which they just forgot to cgi to normal size
— tucker (@TuckerTeague) August 21, 2017
— Mike Sylvester (@TigerGD) August 21, 2017
is it fake because
— Syazwina Saw (蘇薇娜) (@syazwinasaw) August 21, 2017
1) it is unexpectedly bootylicious, or
2) it appears impervious to bullet grazing or nasty rocks
?
Maybe he's born with it?
— Mockwerks (@mockwerks) August 21, 2017
What if he's not wearing a fake butt, but it's actually digitally added in post?
— spenser4hire (@spenser4hireart) August 21, 2017
After an extensive debate, Twitter seemed to settle on the resolution that, because the Valkyrie scene in question involved a battle with some stunts, Tom Cruise was indeed wearing butt pads, but they were employed for safety, not for vanity. No matter the truth — he's wearing butt pads for protection, he's wearing butt pads for style, or he's simply got a large caboose — we're not judging, especially since that butt looks good.