Jenny Slate's Blind Date Tried To Be Her Literal Knight In Shining Armor

Photo: MediaPunch/REX/Shutterstock
If you've been in the dating game for a while, there's a good chance that you have a not-so-stellar encounter with a prospective significant other under your belt. Maybe your date wouldn't stop talking about their ex, or was rude to the waiter and then left you to foot the entirety of the bill. Those stories are, sadly, all too common, but for comedian and Obvious Child actress Jenny Slate, her horrible blind date was even more bizarre. That's because her date decided that he wanted to be her knight in shining armor... literally.
Slate, who split from Captain America actor Chris Evans in January — the two met while co-starring in the movie Gifted — said that her first date after the end of the pair's relationship was completely and utterly awkward. On the Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso podcast, Slate admitted that her date showed up in very... unusual attire.
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Before the date, her date had made a joke about going to the Renaissance Faire. Slate was not on board, but her date kept making references to the medieval festival. She was just willing to write this off as a bad comedy bit, until —
"He comes around the corner inside the restaurant…this dude, and I’m not kidding, is dressed in full chainmail," the former Saturday Night Live cast member told the podcast. "He’s got a full authentic knight’s costume on, including a floor-length tabard, which I called a tunic and then he corrected me and was like, 'It’s actually a tabard.'"
If that's not comedy material, I don't know what is. In fact, what Slate describes next sounds like it could be straight out of a sketch show:
"I have a whole date with him... His chain mail is like getting caught on stuff... He’s trying my pasta with the chainmail clinking across and stuff, it’s insane."
No judgements on anyone who wants to live the Game of Thrones life all the time, but, dude, maybe read the room? Because Slate was so not feeling it. Well, she was feeling something, and it was straight-up humiliated.
"I am feeling feelings which I never even felt as a teenager, which are like, you’re embarrassing me," she told the podcast of having to stare at her knight the whole night.
That's the kind of date that would put one off dating for quite a while — or, at least, to put in your Tinder bio "no aspiring knights need apply." Thankfully, Slate's one lady who can spin this story into comedy gold — even if she wanted to melt into the floor while the date was actually happening.
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