If you’ve been celebrating Kesha’s official return to the music world by watching her new “Praying” video on repeat since it was released last week, then you've probably noticed the song has a powerful message. At the beginning of the music video, the artist is seen lying on piece of driftwood in the middle of the ocean, and she says, “God give me a sign or I have to give up. I can't do this anymore. Please just let me die. Being alive just hurts too much." These emotional words are hard to hear, but even harder to ignore, especially knowing everything the singer-songwriter has endured over the past several years — intense legal battles, emotional abuse, recovering from an eating disorder. In a recent interview with Sirius XM Radio, Kesha opened up about her struggle with the depression, the meaning the "Praying"opening monologue, and the role her emotional journey played in writing the new song.
While being interviewed about her new single, the singer-songwriter was asked why she chose to include these emotional and somewhat taboos words at the beginning of the music video. She explained, "I think its healthy to actually talk about feeling really down sometimes because life can be a fucking bitch sometimes." According to the interview, the only way that Kesha was able to get through her struggle with depression was by creating music. She said, "I would roll out of bed, get in my car and show up to the studio. And I would just keep making songs. That was my way to cope."
The interviewer explicitly asked Kesha if she had ever contemplated suicide, and she was very honest. She responded, "I had moments because I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do." Despite those feelings, Kesha said that she always held onto hope that her music would save her. "My idea of Rainbow was what got me through the past four years of my life. Just the idea that maybe one day I could be sitting here talking to you guys about my new song that's on the radio." Kesha then broke down saying she didn't know if the day would ever come, but she never gave up hope.
If you are experiencing depression and need support, please call the National Depressive/Manic-Depressive Association Hotline at 1-800-826-3632 or the CrisisCall Center’s 24-hour hotline at 1-775-784-8090.