You might need to sit down for this. Are you sitting? Okay.
Told you that you'd want to be seated.
Right off the bat, the clinic's posting states they're searching for "a crazy cat person" who has a natural affinity for "cattitude," feeds strays, counts kittens — instead of sheep, we assume — before bed, and who feels "warm and fuzzy" when petting furry felines.
The posting doesn't list how much the position pays, though, that might not even matter because the requirements look like they came from a dream. Here's what they say makes an "ideal candidate."
1. "Must have gentle hands capable of petting and stroking cats for long periods of time."
Yeah, that's not a problem. Please, continue.
2. "They need to be softly spoke and capable of cat whispering to calm the nerves of some of our in patients."
Look, we've surely all dated needier people. This wouldn't be an issue. Next!
3. "An ability to understand different types of purring is a distinct advantage in helping you secure this position with us."
*Ferociously Googles how to differentiate cat purrs.*
But, before you grab your passport and head to the nearest airport, there's one final requirement that might just shatter your dreams: You need a "veterinary council of Ireland recognized qualification" in order to lock down the gig.
Of course, that one detail shouldn't prevent you from following your dreams. There are tons of animal shelters and no-kill adoption organizations across the country that need volunteers to help foster and care for cats of all ages. Just think, you could get in your cuddles and help save a life!